Sikowitz: Good morning, little mittens! [laughing] Alright, now it's time for... bad news.
Rex: They found out coconut juice makes your hair fall out?
Sikowitz: [Laughing] No. We're going to do an acting exercise about giving bad news.
Sikowitz: Why? To teach you that acting often involves making choices about how to say things. For example, how do you give someone bad news and make it seem not so bad?
Cat: By telling them in a language that they don't understand!
Sikowitz: No, Cat! Just come up on stage here. You too Robbie, up, up. Now your partner in this little acting exercise... Tanner, come in. Everybody, this is Tanner. A young boy who lives next door to me. Have a seat. Alright, Cat and Robbie, heres a card with some... random... bad news for you to give to Tanner.
Robbie: Got it.
Sikowitz: Good, now improvise a scene where you have to give Tanner that bad news in a way that doesn't upset him.
Robbie: That's good! One sec.
[Robbie strums guitar]
This kind of news is always hard to tell someone.
Cat: We really hope it doesn't break your heart.
Robbie: But somebody ran
Cat: Yes, somebody ran
Robbie: A woman or a man
Cat: Maybe in a van
Cat and Robbie: Somebody ran over your go-cart.
Robbie: AND IT GOT CRUSHED!
Cat: It's unfixable!
Sikowitz: Now that's how you give bad news. See? The boy is smiling!
Tanner: Yeah, that was really cool. You guys just made that song up? Right now?
Cat and Robbie: Yup!
Sikowitz: And now, Tanner. This is for you.
Tanner: My... My go-cart!
Sikowitz: Sorry. At night, your parents driveway looks a lot like... mine. Now, off you go! There ya go, scooch along, there's the door. Drive safely!
Tori: Wait! You really ran over the boys go-cart?
Sikowitz: Three times. I thought it was a racoon! Takes your seats. Alright, now let's talk about the new play I'm directing.
Jade: Do I get to star in it?
André: Uh, I think it's my turn to star in one of Sikowitz's plays.
Jade: Why are you talking?
Sikowitz: See? Every time I cast a new play, you get your panties in a pretzel. So this time, you people will choose your own roles. André, pick a role.
André: Tommy, 10 year old identical twin brother of Carter.
Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Beck, pick a role.
Beck: Carter, 10 year old identical twin brother of Tommy. I guess we're twins.
André: Then momma's got some explaining to do.
Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Jade, pick a role.
Jade: Uh, Nancy. Loving wife of astronaut Walter Swaine.
Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Tori.
Tori: Astronaut Walter Swaine, husband of Nancy...
Jade: I'm supposed to play her wife!?
Tori: I'll just pick another card...!
Sikowitz: No! My box has spoken!
André: Uh, Sikowitz, I think I just heard something move in there with the go-cart parts.
Sikowitz: I KNEW IT!
André: Hey. Hey you guys. Can you do me a big favor?
Robbie: What's goin' on?
Cat: What is it?
André: Okay, see, I borrowed Beck's car 'cause I needed to take my grandma to the doctor.
André: But she got scared and wouldn't go so the doctor told me to bring him a cup of her, uh.... You know, liquid.
Robbie: I uh, I think he means her urine.
André: Yeah, when I took a sharp left, the cup of uh, grandma... spilled all over the front seat.
Robbie: Alright, I've got rubber gloves and sponges in my locker, I guess I'll just--
André: No, no, no. I just want you to tell Beck what happened.
Cat: Why us?
André: Well, 'cause it's bad news and in class today you made bad news sound not so bad.
Cat: Oh, okay.
Robbie: Yeah, we'll tell Beck for ya.
André: Cool, cool, he's over there.
Robbie: I'll go fetch my guitar!
Cat: [Giggles] Fetch.
Jade: I don't wanna be your wife in the play.
Tori: Well, I don't wanna be your husband in the play!
Beck: Hey guys.
Robbie: We have a song.
Cat: For you!
Robbie: Hey, Mister Beck
Cat: Your life's going swell
Robbie: Now here's some news
Cat: That's not so fun to tell
Cat and Robbie: Ohhhh...
Robbie: Now Andre'd like to thank you for the use of your car
Cat: But something icky happened and it's kind of bizarre
Robbie: His grandmother peed in a clear plastic cup
Cat: Andre put it in your car then he started it up
Cat and Robbie: Now..comes.. the bad part!
Cat: He was on his way to the doctor and he took a sharp turn
Robbie: The cup fell over and spilled all the urine
Cat: Sixty four plus nine equals seventy three
Robbie: But please don't feel bad now your car smells like pee
Cat and Robbie: 'Cause you're...still.. good looking!
Beck: Well, I'm not thrilled about the urine in my car. But, I liked your song so I'm okay with it.
Cat: [Laughing] That was really fun!
Robbie: Yeah! Maybe we should make out some time!
Cat: Oh, Robbie, you're so gross! [Laughing]
[Music] CUT TO: INT:BLACK BOX THEATER-SAME ANDRE, BECK and JADE acting in SIKOWITZ'S play
ANDRE: What's wrong mom?
BECK: You seem awful upset.
JADE: (Sobbing) . Don't you understand!? You're father is an astronaut its his dream to walk on the moon... But now that may never happen because of his narcolepsy.
BECK: What's narcolepsy?
JADE: (CONT'D) Its when you're always falling asleep even when you're not tired.
SIKOWITZ: Car door sound effect! Yells and points at SINJIN.
JADE: OH! I just heard your fathers car. Now boys no matter how narcoleptic he is, you pretend you don't notice.
TORI enters the play.