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Bell rings

Sikowitz: Good morning, little mittens! [laughing] Alright, now it's time for... bad news.

Rex: They found out coconut juice makes your hair fall out?

Sikowitz: [Laughing] No. We're going to do an acting exercise about giving bad news.

Jade: Why?

Sikowitz: Why? To teach you that acting often involves making choices about how to say things. For example, how do you give someone bad news and make it seem not so bad?

Cat: By telling them in a language that they don't understand!

Sikowitz: No, Cat! Just come up on stage here. You too Robbie, up, up. Now your partner in this little acting exercise... Tanner, come in. Everybody, this is Tanner. A young boy who lives next door to me. Have a seat. Alright, Cat and Robbie, heres a card with some... random... bad news for you to give to Tanner.

Robbie: Got it.

Cat: Okay.

Sikowitz: Good, now improvise a scene where you have to give Tanner that bad news in a way that doesn't upset him.

Robbie: Uh....

Cat: *Whispering*

Robbie: That's good! One sec.

[Robbie strums guitar]

Robbie: [Singing]

This kind of news is always hard to tell someone.

Cat: We really hope it doesn't break your heart.

Robbie: But somebody ran

Cat: Yes, somebody ran

Robbie: A woman or a man

Cat: Maybe in a van

Cat and Robbie: Somebody ran over your go-cart.

Robbie: AND IT GOT CRUSHED!

Cat: It's unfixable!

[Class applauds]

Sikowitz: Now that's how you give bad news. See? The boy is smiling!

Tanner: Yeah, that was really cool. You guys just made that song up? Right now?

Cat and Robbie: Yup!

Sikowitz: And now, Tanner. This is for you.

Tanner: My... My go-cart!

Sikowitz: Sorry. At night, your parents driveway looks a lot like... mine. Now, off you go! There ya go, scooch along, there's the door. Drive safely!

Tori: Wait! You really ran over the boys go-cart?

Sikowitz: Three times. I thought it was a racoon! Takes your seats. Alright, now let's talk about the new play I'm directing.

Jade: Do I get to star in it?

André: Uh, I think it's my turn to star in one of Sikowitz's plays.

Jade: Why are you talking?

[Class arguing]

Sikowitz: See? Every time I cast a new play, you get your panties in a pretzel. So this time, you people will choose your own roles. André, pick a role.

André: Tommy, 10 year old identical twin brother of Carter.

Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Beck, pick a role.

Beck: Carter, 10 year old identical twin brother of Tommy. I guess we're twins.

André: Then momma's got some explaining to do.

Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Jade, pick a role.

Jade: Uh, Nancy. Loving wife of astronaut Walter Swaine.

Sikowitz: [Car sound effects] Tori.

Tori: Astronaut Walter Swaine, husband of Nancy...

Jade: I'm supposed to play her wife!?

Tori: I'll just pick another card...!

Sikowitz: No! My box has spoken!

André: Uh, Sikowitz, I think I just heard something move in there with the go-cart parts.

[Squeaking]

Sikowitz: I KNEW IT!


[Theme song]


André: Hey. Hey you guys. Can you do me a big favor?

Robbie: What's goin' on?

Cat: What is it?

André: Okay, see, I borrowed Beck's car 'cause I needed to take my grandma to the doctor.

Robbie: Yeah.

André: But she got scared and wouldn't go so the doctor told me to bring him a cup of her, uh.... You know, liquid.

Cat: Whaa?

Robbie: I uh, I think he means her urine.

Cat: [Gasps]

André: Yeah, when I took a sharp left, the cup of uh, grandma... spilled all over the front seat.

Robbie: Alright, I've got rubber gloves and sponges in my locker, I guess I'll just--

André: No, no, no. I just want you to tell Beck what happened.

Cat: Why us?

André: Well, 'cause it's bad news and in class today you made bad news sound not so bad.

Cat: Oh, okay.

Robbie: Yeah, we'll tell Beck for ya.

André: Cool, cool, he's over there.

Robbie: I'll go fetch my guitar!

Cat: [Giggles] Fetch.

[Bell rings]

Jade: I don't wanna be your wife in the play.

Tori: Well, I don't wanna be your husband in the play!

Jade: Oh.

Tori: "OH."


Cat: Hi!

Beck: Hey guys.

Robbie: We have a song.

Cat: For you!

Robbie: Hey, Mister Beck

Cat: Your life's going swell

Robbie: Now here's some news

Cat: That's not so fun to tell

Cat and Robbie: Ohhhh...

Robbie: Now Andre'd like to thank you for the use of your car

Cat: But something icky happened and it's kind of bizarre

Robbie: His grandmother peed in a clear plastic cup

Cat: Andre put it in your car then he started it up

Cat and Robbie: Now..comes.. the bad part!

Cat: He was on his way to the doctor and he took a sharp turn

Robbie: The cup fell over and spilled all the urine

Cat: Sixty four plus nine equals seventy three

Robbie: But please don't feel bad now your car smells like pee

Cat and Robbie: 'Cause you're...still.. good looking!

Beck: Well, I'm not thrilled about the urine in my car. But, I liked your song so I'm okay with it.

Cat: [Laughing] That was really fun!

Robbie: Yeah! Maybe we should make out some time!

Cat: Oh, Robbie, you're so gross! [Laughing]


[Music] CUT TO: INT:BLACK BOX THEATER-SAME ANDRE, BECK and JADE acting in SIKOWITZ'S play

ANDRE: What's wrong mom?

BECK: You seem awful upset.

JADE: (Sobbing) . Don't you understand!? You're father is an astronaut its his dream to walk on the moon... But now that may never happen because of his narcolepsy.

BECK: What's narcolepsy?

JADE: (CONT'D) Its when you're always falling asleep even when you're not tired.

SIKOWITZ: Car door sound effect! Yells and points at SINJIN.

JADE: OH! I just heard your fathers car. Now boys no matter how narcoleptic he is, you pretend you don't notice.

TORI enters the play.

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