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This is the transcript for Robbie Sells Rex. To return to the episode, click here

Tori: [Clears throat] Good morning!

Students: [In unison] Hey!

Tori: Um, I'd like to introduce our guest lecturer, my friend, the head of Neutronium Records and the producer of the Platinum Music Awards, Mason Thornesmith.

Students: [Applause]

Mason: [Phone rings] Oh, sorry, darling! Gotta take this! [Opens phone and puts it to his ear] Yeah, what is it?

Tori: Uh, Mason is going to be teaching us about how much fun and how exciting the music business can be and hopefully he'll [gets interrupted by Mason]

Mason: [Still on the phone] No! You tell him he better be in that recording session or I'll have his fat-head on a fork! Weas... Oh, Max it's you! Yes, guess what? You're fired! Now run home and tell your pregnant wife!

Jade: I love that man!

André: He's sweet!

Mason: Hello, kids.

Students: [Together] Hey! Hi!

Tori: So, Mason, what advice do you have for the students here at Hollywood Arts who are trying to break into the music business?

Mason: Well, I'd say, you know, if you work hard, stay focused... Ah, who're we kidding? Prepare for your dreams to be crushed!

Tori: Questions?

Students: [Raise their hands]

Tori: Uh... Hey, Robbie!

Robbie: [Stands up] Hi, Robbie Shapiro, class treasurer, sea-food lover! Here, at school I'm known as quite the guitar player..

Rex: ..and quite the doofbag!

Robbie: Anyway, my guitar instructor says I'm excellent when it comes to picking...

Rex: ...especially his nose!

Robbie: [Looks at Rex] Rex!

Maren: Actually, Robin...

Robbie: ...Rob-BIE!

Mason: Never correct me! Uh, I would like to speak with you when we're all finished here!

Robbie: Really?

Jade: Really?

Mason: Really!

André: [Looks at Jade] I never knew Robbie liked seafood!

Trina: [Gets up and pushes Robbie off his chair] Mr. Thornesmith, this is a collection of my music![Shows a CD cover she's holding] It's, uh, called 'Songs in the key of Trina'.

[Flour-Bomber runs from behind the Black Room curtain] André: Hey! Hey, look out!

Tori: [Points at the Flour-Bomber] It's the Flour-Bomber!

Flour-Bomber: [Throws flour and Trina and runs out]

Jade: Wreck him!

Trina: [Spits out flour]


[Theme Song]


[The blackbox theater, after the assembly, on the chairs]

Trina: [Brushing flower off her face] Ugh, I can't believe that flour-bomber. He ruined my chances to sing for Mason Thornesmith. 

André: Uhm, Trina...have you ever recorded yourself singing, and played it back, and, ya know, listened to it?

Trina: Yeah, sure.

André: And...and you wanna do it again?

Jade: I am so sick of that flour-bomber. I am gonna find out who he is, and why he's flour-bombing people. 

Sinjin: [Walks up to Jade] I made you this daisy out of colored paper.  [Hands daisy to Jade]

Jade: [Crumples flour then throws it at Sinjin. Exits the blackbox theater]

[On the stage in the blackbox theater]

Mason: So..Robbie...let's say you eh, swing by my office tomorrow, 4:00, how does that sound? 

Robbie: Scrumptious. 

Rex: Oh my god, you're blowing it already. 

Mason: I like this Rex. [Points to Rex] You bring him to the office tomorrow. 

Robbie: [Looks at Rex] Sure. 

[Cat enters the blackbox theater]

Cat: [Running towards André and Trina] Is it true? Did the flour bomber really strike again? 

André: What do you think? [Guestures to Trina]

Cat: I don't know, what do I think?

Trina: Look at me. Do you not see what's on my face? [Guestures around face]

Cat: A chin pimple?

Trina: [Covers chin and gasps]


[At Mason's Office]

Mason's Assistant: [To Robbie and Cat] Okay, you guys should just have a seat, and Mason will be here in a minute. 

Cat: [Walking through door, turns to face Mason's assistant] Um...have you heard of bibble?

Mason's Assistant: Sure, they British snack. 

Robbie: Cat..

Cat: Sush up! [Points at Robbie]

Cat: Yeah, uh, can you point me in the direction of Mason's bibble? 

Mason's Assistant: I've been told not to give you any bibble. 

Cat: Mmm...maybe you're thinking of someone else. 

Mason's Assistant: [Nods] You're Cat Valentine. 

Cat: No! I'm Cat Valen...stine! 

Cat: Hey, were you at my bat mitzvah?

Mason's Assistant: [Leaves and shuts door to Mason's office]

Robbie: [Stretching his legs]

Cat: Don't be so nervous.

Robbie: I'm not nervous. 

Cat: Well then...why are you breathing so heavy?

Robbie: 'Cause these pants are a little snug in the rump...

[Mason opens door and enters his office]

Mason: Well, hello. If it isn't my new friend, Robbie, and my old friend, Cat. 

Robbie: Hey, Mason, do you like my snazzy outfit? [Spins in circle]

Mason: And there's Rex. [Points to Rex and smiles]

Rex: All day. Heheh. 

Cat: Hey, Mason, quick question-

Mason: No bibble.

Cat: You don't know that's what I was gonna ask! 

Mason: Oh...then what's your question?

Cat: ...So how ya been?...

Mason: [Furrows his brows at Cat]

Mason: Francis, come on, get yourself in here! [Guestures to door]

[Francis walks in with bag of bibble] 

Mason: There he is, Robbie, Cat, this...is my son, Francis. [Exasperated tone towards the end] 

Robbie: Hello, Francis.

Cat: Bibble! *[Reaches out for bibble]

Mason: Cat...

Cat: [Backs away from Francis] Tiny bit?

Mason: Alrighty then, my work here is done. [Mason goes to exit his office]

Robbie: Wait! Uh, I thought we were gonna talk about my music career. 

Mason: Well...sometimes we think things that never happen. [Exits office]

[Francis eats bibble obnoxiously] 

Cat: I see you have a...bag of bibble...

Francis: You can't have any.

Cat: Not even for...[reaches in bra and pulls out candy] chocolate covered nuts? 

Francis: Nah, keep your nuts.

Cat: [Puts candy back in her bra]

Robbie: Francis...is your Dad coming back?

Francis: No! He brought you here so I could buy your little friend!

Robbie: Cat? For how much? 

Cat: [Offended] Robbie! 

Francis: Not the chick, him! [Points to Rex]

Rex: Eh! [Looks at Robbie]

Robbie: Look; b-but Rex isn't for sale.

Francis: I'll give you 2,000 bucks. 

Robbie: [Shocked] 2,000?! What?!

Cat: [Reaches to get some bibble from Francis]

Francis: [Slaps Cat's hand]

Cat: Owwie! 

Francis: So do we got a deal or what? [Impatient]

Robbie: No! 

Rex: Think about it, Rob. 2 Gs. That'll buy you a lot of bodywash. 

Robbie: Aw, I do use a lot of it...

Francis: My offer goes for 24 hours. [Eats bibble]

Robbie: Alright, I'll...I'll think about it [Starts to exit Mason's office] Cat, you coming? 

Cat: Wait for me outside...

[Robbie exits]

Francis: I ain't giving you any bibble. 

Cat: Okay...but...will you at least breath in my face?

[Francis breathes on Cat's face]

Cat: Ah, yeah...that is bibble breath. [Nodding] Do it again! 

[Francis breaths on Cat's face again]

[At School Sikowitz runs up to tori, andre, beck, jade and cat] Oh kids, have any of you seen an unholy woman with a horrible little girl?.... Woman Mr. Sikowitz! [Sikowitz hides behind them, a woman and a little girl appear] Mr. Sikowitz I see you back there. [Sikowitz comes out of hiding] Mrs. Hilbert, Isn't it enough that I have to live across the street from you and your horrible little daughter? must you bring her to my place of work?. Mrs. Hilbert I brought her here to apologize for what she did this morning. Andre What'd she do? Rhoda None of your stupid buisness!. [Andre starts to charge at her but is held back by Beck and Tori.] Sikowitz I'll tell you what she did. This morning I was showering with my bathroom window open, and this little egg chucker, nailed me in the head. Rhoda It aint my fault your head broke my egg. Sikowitz I will end you [He charges a rhoda

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