This is the transcript of the episode One Thousand Berry Balls.


Tori: (looking in her locker) Where is it? Come on.

Andre: (suspicious voice) Looking for something?

Tori: Yes. Why d... (gasps) Do you have it?

Andre: Do you mean, do I have it right here in this pocket?

Tori: Yeah. Do you?

Andre: Nah. I'm just messing with you. I don't even know what you are looking for.

Tori: I have spent the last 20 minutes tearing my locker up looking for a  5 dollar bill that I know I have.

Andre: Hey hey hey hey.

Tori: What?

Andre: It's just 5 dollars no big doodle.

Tori: Yes it is. It is a huge doodle. I'm broke. I need money... bad.

Andre: For what?

Tori: For jeans, makeup, special cheese, a new purse.

Andre: Wait. Why do you need special cheese?

Tori: You know I don't like regular cheese.

Andre: Wanna make some money?

Tori: Yes. Maybe. How?

Andre: (goes to locker and starts playing the piano to open it) You know how I've been working part-time at Yotally Togourt?

Tori: Yeah.

Andre: On Saturday there gonna launch a new thing called Berry Balls.

Tori: What? Fruit flavoured yogourt?

Andre: In small balls form.

Tori: Okay.

Andre: And my boss is looking for someone to work this Saturday you know? Hand out some free samples. Get people pumped up.

Tori: Well, I can get people pumped up about Berry Balls.

Andre: So your in?

Tori: Yeah. I am in.

Andre: She's in. 

Tori: But wait.

Andre: He waits

Tori: Saturday night, you & I are doing a song here at The Cow Wow. 

Andre: Oh, it's cool. We'll be done with work at 8 so we'll get here by 9 the song is no problem.

Tori: Then ok. You tell your boss he's got himself a Berry Ball girl.

Andre: Alright

Cat: (comes) Hey you guys.

Tori: What's up?

Cat: I have a problem. 

Tori: (looks towards Jade's locker) Well you should tell Jade. 

Andre: Yep! Jade's right over there. (points at Jade)

Cat: Ok, I'll go tell Jade.

Cat: Jade I have a problem I need help.

Jade: Well, Tori and Andre are right over there.

Cat: They told me to come to you.

Jade: (gives death glare at them)

Tori and Andre are both waving with a smile on their faces.

Cat: So you know The Cow Wow dance this Saturday night.

Jade: Yeah I know about The Cow Wow.

Cat: Well, Robbie texted me last night, saying he wants to talk to me and I know he's going to ask me to be his date.

Jade: Gross.

Cat: Don't say gross. I like Robbie.

Jade: So. go to the dance with him.

Cat: No gross.

Jade: You just said that--

Cat: Look, Robbie's one of my best friends and going to the dance with him would just be weird. 

Jade: Well, think fast because here he comes right now.

Robbie: Cat.

Cat: Quick, hide me. 

Jade: Cat, in my bra?

Cat: Oh. No. That'll Never work.

Robbie: Cat. Hi.

Cat: Hi.

Robbie: Hi. Listen.

Cat: Why? 

Jade: I'm gonna go.

Cat: NO!

Jade stays

Robbie: I wanted to ask you-

Cat: Who my favourite vice- president was? Oh! Easy! Dick Cheney!

Robbie: No! I wanted to ask you.

Cat: No.

Robbie: She ran away from me. I was in the middle of talking to her and she just ran away from me, like, why would a girl do that?

Jade walks away

Robbie: Yeah but you walked away!

Theme Song

Sikowitz's Class

Jade: Hey.

Beck: Hi.

Jade: You are wearing this to the cow wow.

Beck: Okay.

Jade: What, you don't like it?

Beck: I said okay.

Jade: You've barely even looked at it!

Beck: I just thought.

Jade: This is the first social event in school we're going to since we got back together!

Beck: Ok.

Jade: You wanna know what I'm gonna wear?!

Beck: (sits in chair, and is silent)

Jade: I'm gonna wear a Hawaiian skirt, a black western top and a cowboy hat.

Beck: That's sounds great.

Jade: What's the matter with you?

Robbie: Cat.

Cat: NO! (runs out of class)

Robbie: (chases Cat) Hey Cat, I... CAT!!!!

Jade: Which boots should I wear, black or brown?

Beck: Brown.


Blackbox Theater

Robbie: Hello. Cat.

Cat: Eh! (tries to run away from him but Robbie catches her)

Robbie: Oh. Hey. Hey. You don't have to keep running away from me. I already asked Gabriella to be my date to The Cow Wow.

Cat: Gabriella?

Robbie: Hmm-mmm.

Cat: Cool. What did she say?

Robbie: She said "si".

Cat: That's means yes.

Robbie: I know. I looked it up.

Cat: Well. Yay. You got yourself a pretty girl to take to The CowWow.

Robbie: Yeah. I just wanted to let you know that you don't have to run away from me anymore.

Cat: Ok. Thanks.

Robbie: See you in class (exits).

Cat: (throws chair against the wall in anger) Gabriella.

Tori updates her status

Tori: (updating status) On my way to WORK! I'm gonna be a berry ball girl! Weeeee! Feeling: Berry Excited.


Andre: Alright. Thanks a lot. Enjoy. it.

Tori: Hey kid where's my yogourt?

Andre: Hey what's up little co-worker?

Tori: Just ready to get to it.

Andre: Cool. Tori's here.

Manager: Just a minute.

Tori: Mmm. What are those? (points to it)

Andre: Coconut rasins.

Tori: And these? (points to it)

Andre: Peanut Butter chips.

Tori: Happy tongue. (takes counter cleaner) Mmm. What's this white stuff?

Andre: That's what we use to clean the counter.

Tori (starts gaging on it).

Tori: Eh! Ow!Ah! Ahhh! (gags more on it).

Manager: Well. Hello.

Tori: (continues gaging on it). 

Manager: What's she doing.

Andre: She ate some counter cleanser now she's spitting it out.

Tori: (grabs water bottle and drinks while gaging).

Manager: In the future I'd appreciate it if you woldn't gag in front of the customers.

Andre: It's the first time. Eating cleanser.

Manager: Your job is to give out One Thousand Berry Balls.

Tori: What are they?

Manager: There balls. Of Berry.

Andre: Why do they have green afros?

Manager: That's cotton candy.

Tori: What flavor is that?

Manager: Green.

Tori: Green flavor?

Manager: Do I have to explain everything twice?

Andre: No.

Manager: Why are the pretty ones so stupid?

Tori: Hey.

Andre: How much money will she make today?

Manager: 100 dollars!!!!

Tori: 100 bucks? (looks at Andre).

Tori: Just to give a thousand of these Berry Balls for free?

Manager: She's making me explain it again to her twice.

Tori: No. I'm not.

Manager: Your costume is back there. Go put it on.

Tori: You want me to wear a costume?

Manager: That does it.

Andre: No. She understands.

Andre: Go put on your costume.

Tori: What kind of costume?

Scene cuts to her wearing it.

Tori: This?

Manager: Excellent. (turns to Andre). What do you think?

Andre: Don't you think it's a little hideous?

Manager: Hideous? My wife designed that costu...

Tori: Oh. No. You know how teenagers say hideous when the mean good. Like how bad means good. Right?

Andre: Right. Yes. Sure. Right.

Tori: How hideous means real good.

Tori: That sweater is hideous. I'm talking hi day-day.

Manager: This card tells you what to say to people when you offer them Berry Balls. 

Tori: Oh.

Manager: Oh. Here comes my daughter. Be nice. She just got braces on her teeth. Here's my little girl. How was the dentist?

Daughter: Ok. I guess. What do you think? (shows braces)

Manager: You look hideous. (turns around to Tori & Andre). Don't you two think so?

Andre: Straight down hi day-day.

Daughter: (cries)

Manager: Oh. Come. Now. We'll buy you a new set of hair curls.

Andre: We destroyed a young girls self-esteem.

Tori: Let's start handing out these Berry Balls. One Thousand to go.

Andre: One Thousand to go.

Tori: Oh. Hey. Hi. Eh! (reads off of card).

Kid #1: They look disgusting.

Kid #2: So do you.

Tori: (sees other people) Hi. (reads off of card)

Kids: Ahhh! (run away)

Tori: (turns to mom) Hi.

Mom: No.

Tori: (turns to Andre)...

Andre: One Thousand to go.

Commercial Break

Singit "Sing the next line!"
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