Trina: Welcome to TheSlap.com, lil sis! Hey, did you see that guy Andrew posted picks of you at the showcase? Check them out!
André: It's ANDRE! Not Andrew!
Tori: Cool picks, Andrew! JK. Sorry about my sister!
Trina: Why are you apologizing for me? I don't get it.
Beck: Well hello there! I see you found TheSlap.com. You're learning Ms. Vega! :)
Jade: Well, hello boyfriend. I see you found Tori on TheSlap.com already. Grreeeaatt (That was sarcastic, btw).
Cat: Tori! You're on TheSlap.com! AWESOME. Uh oh, my cat just ate my lip gloss. TTYL.
Tori: This pic was taken of me at my new school, Hollywood Arts. You can't see it but there is a little piece of popcorn stuck in between my teeth. Help! (Mood: victorious)
Tori: Just got a pedicure. Tickled so much I kicked the woman in the ear by accident. (Mood: embarrassed)
Tori: Music is my BF. Nothing makes me happier. Too bad music can't drive me to the movies and buy me dinner. (Mood: bored)
Tori: Lunch time. Salad with big lettuce. Still worried. (Mood: buggin')
Tori: Time for stage fighting class. Should I ditch? I wish. (Mood: freakin')
Tori: OMG - I just got called to the GUIDANCE COUNSELOR'S OFFICE. Whyyyy?! (Mood: frusterated)
Tori: Um, whoa. Andre just told me something X-TREMELEY interesting. I KNEW IT! (Mood: grrrrr)
Tori: OMG - I finally found a GREAT birthday prez for Trina. Yeee-HOOO!! (Mood: relieved)
Tori: Ahhh! Andre and I are writing SUCH A COOL SONG. This will be the best present Trina EVER GOT! (Mood: psyched)
Tori: Still MAD at Trina. U reading this Trina? Hope so! (Mood: irked)
Tori: Hey, everyone. Tell me what to do! I'll pick the funniest request, record me doing whatever it is, and post it right here on TheSlap.com! (Mood: bored)
Tori: On a mission ...... but how did I get to be the LOVE DOCTOR?!? (Mood: hopeful) current avatar
Tori: I just made 2 little girls scream and run away with their cookies. (Mood: bummed)
Tori: Never send Trina and Cat to do ANYTHING!!! (Mood: desperate)
Tori: What's your favorite junk food? Pizza or Hamburger? (Mood: wondering)
Tori: Woohooo! Memorial Day Weekend!!!!! EXCELLENT! What's everyone up to? (Mood: happy)
Tori: Mmm.... now I want a blueberry muffin. I am one hungry girl! (Mood: hungry)
Tori: Dear fellow students: PLEASE STOP LOOKING AT MY PIMPLE!!! (Mood: embarrassed)
Tori: What up peeps? Check out my wall post and see if you can figure out who's feet r whose! (Mood: creative)
Tori: On our way to THE BEACH! Gonna COOOL off!!! So psyched. (Mood: pumped)
Beck: Hahahahahaha. Still thinking about Catherine Obvious!
Tori: Oh yeah??? Wasn't it you who said "The early bird gets the perm"?
Beck: Hahahahaha. Okay, you got me.
Tori: Why would a bird need a perm?
Jade: Well, hate to break up your little flirt-texting session but Beck.... I need you to come rub my feet.
Beck: L8t Tori. :(
Tori: Good-bye June gloom! Hello sunny July! (Mood: happy)
Tori: Okay, gonna do another "Tori Takes Request" video segment. Tell me what to do!!!! (Mood: psyched)
Tori: 5 AM dance class kicked my body. I think my body hates me! (Mood: exhausted)
Trina: BTW, just because you wake up at 4.30 in the morning doesn't mean EVERYONE in the house has to. Be quieter next time.
Tori: You could use a dance class or two.
Tori: Cats or Dogs? Trina's a Cat person. I'm a dog person. Who's right? (Mood: hmmm..)
Tori: Goooooooooood afternoon, Slappers! I'm eating a sandwich that is 5 inches tall at the BEST DELI in LA!! Wish you were all here with me! (Mood: hungry)
Tori: Just saw a roach in the bathroom. I let him live cuz I thought: How would I like it if a giant bug stepped on me? (Mood: satisfied)
Cat: How do you know it was a boy?
Tori: I told Trina that it was her turn to take out the garbage. She bit my arm. Now I'm taking out the trash with a bruised arm. (Mood: beat up)
Tori: Foods that feel weird in your mouth. I'll start: Mashed Potatoes. Now you... (Mood: hungry)
Tori: Had a bad dream. I was a goldfish trying to get out of my bowl to eat the GIANT ice cream sundae sitting on the table next to me. When I woke up I ate a giant sundae. (Mood: blissful)
Tori: I'm 30,000 feet UP in the air - doin' homework HELLLP! (Mood: flighty)
Tori: Love all my new classes—except Craft Service (Food Prep). Who wants to make bologna sandwiches for four months?? Ick. (Mood: Yuck)
Tori: Trina is auditioning for a role in a horror movie. She's been practicing her scream for 3 days. I'm going CRAZY! (Mood: annoyed)
Tori: Finish this line: The best thing about the weekend is... (Mood: thinky)
Tori: Acting Class with Sikowitz. YAY! Best acting teacher EVER. Weird, but good weird :D (Mood: creative)
Tori: Gonna be an EXTRA in a REAL MOVIE! BOOO-to-the-YAAA!!! (Mood: pumped)
Tori: going to studio to get Beck his job back. brought Cat. Her hair is VERY red. (Mood: buggin')
Tori: Ahhh! I see Melinda... wish me luck!!! (Mood: buggin')
Tori: O... M... G. I just made a superstar get shot in the hand. (Mood: freakin')
Tori: I demand PING PONG!!!! (Mood: fierce)
Tori: Gonna get to the bottom of this WONK. (Mood: suspicious)
Tori: Lunch at School = SALTY FRENCH FRY TIME! (Mood: hungry)
Tori: My first KICK BACK at Hollywood Arts. Funnnnn! (Mood: partyin')
Tori: I did bad things with hot cheese. Uck, WHY?!? (Mood: upset)
Tori: Sweet potato fries are the greatest food EVER intented. I DARE you to name something better. (Mood: hungry)
Trina: Me.
Tori: You're not a food.
Trina: I'm better than food.
Tori: Hey guys! I'm taking request again! Comment below and tell me what to do in my next video! (Mood: adventurous)
Tori: On the count of three, let's all give each other one BIG virtual group hug. 1....2....3.... (Mood: awesome)
Robbie: I missed it. Redo.
Tori: K guys, It's almost Halloween and I don't know what my costume's gonna be yet! Suggestions??!!! (Mood: hmmm..)
Tori: On the way to school Trina ran over someone's mailbox. She than blamed the owner of the mailbox for putting it in a "stupid" place. (Mood: embarrassed)
Tori: Feeling all sweat-pansy today. Who else is with me? (Mood: lazy)
Tori: About to audition to THE WOOD. I think Jade spit in my coffee. :( (perky)
Tori: Third year in a row with no date on Valentine's Day. Guess I gotta buy my own cheap candy and tacky jewelry. (Mood: not busy)
Tori: I'm found on fondue. Do you find fondue fun? I find I'm due for some fondue. Okay, I'll stop. (Mood: cheesy)
Tori: Why is it always so nice and sunny on school days and cold and rainy on weekends? :( ATTENTION WEATHER: I NEED MORE SUNSHINE!!!! (Mood: chillin')
Tori: Okay so there's this really really cute guy in school who "liked" one of my pics...do you think that means he likes ME?? (Mood: wondering)
Tori: I feel like a real DIRECTOR! (Dale is busy again). (Mood: in charge)
Tori: If I have been born a boy, my parents said they would have named me Victor. Would my nickname would my nickname would just be "Tor"? (Mood: wondering)
Tori: Going thru old pics and found one of Trina with braces and headgear. Should I put it on TheSlap? (Mood: evil)
Trina: DON'T YOU DARE!
Tori: Then give me back my jacket.
Trina: Noooo.... I look so much better in it than you. :(
Tori: I am a POLICE OFFICER with VERY RED LIPS and I <3 RAISIN BRAN!!! (Mood: munchy)
Tori: Today=AWESOME. And I <3 my NEW PHONE!!! (Mood: tingly-ish)
Cat: Everytime I look at my PearPhone I get really hungry and want to eat it.
Tori: In recording studio. So COLD in here ONLY penguins could survive! (Mood: chilly)
Tori: Yikes! I'm about to AUDITION for a REAL MOVIE! Ahhhh!!!!! (Mood: terrified)
Tori: Whooo! I did my stunt. Kinda. Sorta. Well...ah, shut up. (Mood: guilty)
Tori: We got KE$HA!!! No more being Trina's assistant!!! CONCERT TIME!!! (Mood: triple pumped)
Tori: I swear that a dog on the street just said "Hello" to me! Wish I could rewind time and hear it again! (Mood: freakin')
Tori: Just got sprayed in the face by one of those perfume ladies at the mall. Great...now I smell like old lady and lilac. (Mood: smelly)
Sinjin: I love that smell!
Tori: Jade tried to steal my part in Steamboat Suzy. P.S. I will NOT teach Sinjin to dance. (Mood: cranky)
Tori: THE PROME IS READY!!! I think. I hope! ARRGGGHHH! I'm NERVOUS! (Mood: festive)
Tori: I'm in the middle of a lake in a paddle boat! Just thought you'd like to know. (Mood: happy)
Tori: Me and Steven's 100 day kiss is only 1 WEEK AWAY! Okay, so maybe I've been practicing in the mirror. Don't judge! (Mood: smoochy)
Rex: You can practice with me if you want.
Tori: Robbie, tell your puppet to stop being creepy.
Robbie: Yeah, like he listens to me.
Tori: So Pumped for Saturday Night...bringing the BF (Mood: pumped)
Tori: Tonight I got to hang out with iCarly and Kenan Thompson!!! Sometimes life is just AWESOME! (Mood: ecstatic)
Tori: Dear helicopter circling my house at 6 in the morning, Thanks. didn't feel like sleeping in today anyways. (Mood: annoyed)
Tori: Don't you hate when you do something totally awesome but you didn't bring a camera to prove it! (Mood: blah)
Tori: Guess who's new on TheSlap? It's Lane! We usually don't let faculty on here, but we make exceptions for the cool ones! (Mood: happy)
Tori: Hey everybody, it's Mustache Weekend on TheSlap! Edit your avatar and give yourself a stache! We all did it... join the fun! (Mood: funky)
Tori: RIP Goldie, you were a good fish! June 24, 2009 - July 22, 2011
Tori: Sister for sale. Half-price! (Mood: irritated)
Trina: Your face is half-price
Tori: That doesn't make any sense!
Trina: You don't make any sense!
Tori: Headed to Yerba—an exotic island off the coast of "Are you jealous you're not going?" :) (Mood: excited)
Tori: Back from Yerba! I would have brought you guys home some souvenirs, but I was too busy ESCAPING FROM PRISON!!! (Mood: relieved)
Tori: Hiking the trail at the Hollywood sign. Can you believe I've never done this before? I feel like such a tourist.
Tori: Flavored soap always makes me hungry. Which is gross, cuz who wants to be hungry while they're in the bathroom?
Tori: Trina keeps cutting me out of the family photos. See what I have to put up with?
Tori: We have a new principal and she's making us re-audition to stay at Hollywood Arts! Ahhh!!! I'm freaking out!
Trina: Relax! If you're half as talented as me, you have nothing to worry about.
Rex: I don't think it's possible to be half as talented as Trina.
Trina: Wait, is that an insult or a compliment?
Rex:I'll let you figure that one out.
Tori: About to RE-AUDITION for Hollywood Arts. Sweaty and Terrified.
Tori: First play I ever directed! Teacher sitting by me. My feet are sweaty.
Tori: It's Friday and I'm Cuddlin' with my Cuddle-Me-Cathy doll.
Rex: You could always cuddle with me instead.
Tori: Robbie, control your puppet.
Tori: Oh, Mr. Freeway how I hate thee. Let me count the delays!
Tori: Taking Sikowitz to a play tonight!!! He's gonna LOVE it!
Tori: Jade was out sick today. It was kind of weird not to be insulted for almost 14 hours. A good weird.
Tori: Robbie’s about to teach me all I need to know about Tech Theater. Yay?
Tori: I ran out of milk today so I had to dunk my cookies into fruit juice. Wasn't that bad actually. Don't judge.
Tori: Trina took a 50-minute shower and left me with NO HOT WATER. My toes are numb.
Trina:I told you to go to the gym to shower. You're so high maintenance.
Tori: I hate trying on masks at the Halloween store. They always smell like armpit! Think I'm going to be sick.
Tori: My freezer is broken! Anyone want to come over and help me eat 4 boxes of fish sticks?
Tori: I just ran the LA half marathon! Got a badge and everything to prove it!
Trina: Well, I'm only half proud of you. Let us know when you run a full marathon, lazy.
Tori: It's freezing today and I'm currently outside, at the Asphalt Cafe, eating an ice cream sandwich. What's wrong with me?
Tori: I haven't been invited to my family's Thanksgiving Day dinner yet. My mom says she checked, and I'm on the wait list.
Tori: Happy Thanksgiving! May your day be filled with joy and all the best to you and yours! (Wow that might be the dorkiest thing I've ever written.)
Tori: Jade made a doll that looks just like me and attached it to the back of her mom's car. Every day, I watch her drag a mini-me through the school parking lot.
Tori: WHAT do I get "a certain person" for Christmas?!?
Tori: Lost one of my fave comfy socks. I bet it's just sitting somewhere mocking me!
Tori: Okay, I have 11 days to make 11 presents. I can totally do this if I put my mind to it… well, right after this nap.
Tori: Merry Christmas you crazy Slap Fans! Hope you got everything you wanted and/or gifts that are easily returnable!
Tori: Bloopers are hilarious. Unless, they're yours. Then they're embarrassing. Oy, It's going to be a long night. #Blooptorious
Tori: Great to be back at Hollywood Arts! I love the holidays but I can only take being in the same house as Trina for so long.
Tori: Finding your sister's toe nail clippings in your kitchen sink is DISGUSTING!
Trina: Those toe nails are NOT mine!
Tori: Really? Cuz no one else's toes are painted metallic blue in this house.
Trina: Okay, fine, they're mine. Don't you just love that color?
Tori: NOT IN MY CEREAL BOWL! NO!
Tori: Any time I drive down a street in Hollywood that's been mentioned in a song, I start singing it. I'm currently on Santa Monica Blv.
Beck: Sounds like you're having fun!
Tori: All my friends and I have detention this Saturday! Sometimes I feel like my life is an 80's teen movie.
Tori: Y'know, I'm not really sure why we called ourselves the Breakfast Bunch but I'm really craving some bacon and eggs right about now.
Tori: Party time - gonna sing in front of a HUGE MUSIC PRODUCER. My feet are sweating - AHHH!
Tori: Driving with Cat and Jade to the house of some lady (who's no longer, um… living.)
Tori: Me two hours ago: Going to the ballet to get more culture! Yay! Me now: Ugh, why is culture so boring!
Tori: Rehearsing a play. I have a MUSTACHE... and I think I like it. :{)
Tori: Question: should I drive 2 hours to sit by a pool in Palm Springs, or walk 2 seconds to sit by the pool in my own backyard?
Jade: Palm Springs and never come back.
Tori: Whoa, what did I do to you today?
Jade: Nothing, just realized I hadn't insulted you in awhile.
Tori: I just saw a rainbow while wearing a green shirt on St. Patrick's Day! You can't get any luckier than that!
Tori: Scratch that... a guy in a luxury car just ran over our mailbox. Thanks for nothing St. Patrick's Day.
Tori: I can't believe Hollywood Arts doesn't celebrate April Fools' Day! In other news, I just got spanked by a giant lobster. What a weird day.
Tori: I feel like my life would be cheerier if I learned to play the harp. You never see an unhappy harpist.
Tori: I cant wear my fancy Easter dress this year, because Trina used it to wash her car.
Trina: Well we were out of rags, I had to use something.
Tori: Jade is driving me to school, Um...... Awesome?
Tori: Just got this text from a teacher: "Don't read texts while in school." If he doesn't want us to check texts in school, he shouldn't text us in school!
Tori: Why can Mexican restaurants never figure out the correct chip to dip ratio? Current Status: Salsa-less.
Tori: I've been studying Greek Tragedy all day and it's really bumming me out. Who knew tragedy could be so depressing?
Tori: I've been doing Trigonometry homework for 3 hours now! I go to Hollywood Arts what's so ARTISTIC about math?!?
Tori: ARGG!! STILL STUCK at Nozu with a billion pounds of GROSS SQUID!
Tori: Trina told me my black + white shirt made me look like a zebra, so i took it off. When i got to school, she was wearing it!
Trina: Well... zebra look good on me not you. Sorry.
Tori: Should i send in my audition to the Platinum Music Awards? Or not? I don't know... kinda nervous... Okay, i'm doing it!
Tori: Um... I'm wearing a new outfit today. It's uh... Different?
Tori: I'm craving some frozen yogurt right now. Normal yogurt just won't do!
Tori: Girls' night out! Who wants to hit up Nozu in the PM?
Robbie: Awesome! I'll meet you there!
Tori: Robbie, it's a GIRLS' night out. You can't come.
Tori: Trina shaved her legs for the first time in 6 weeks while lying on my bed. Gross times infinity!
Tori: Anyone know where Ponnie is?? Or why Sinjin is crying in the girls bathroom?!?
Tori: I really want some free craft service right about now. I wish school was more like a movie set.
Tori: Why on earth am I craving canned ham right now? Sometimes I don't understand my own stomach.
Tori: I'm having sushi... and I'M BLONDE! This excites me. :)
Tori: It's weird having a holiday on a Wednesday. Fireworks just aren't as fun midweek.
Tori: Just got an invitation to join the Stunt Lady's Union for "falling" in that movie last year! That was unexpected.
Beck: But you were the worst stunt person of all time.
Tori: I know, right!
Tori: I really wanted to sleep in today but woke up at 7:15 exactly. I have the world's most annoying internal alarm clock.
Tori: I have an arm hair that is longer than my big toe. That's not normal, is it? Time to pluck!
Tori: I had a nightmare that Jade and I were stage fighting again and when I woke up I was craving butternut squash. Weird.
Tori: A teacher just told me not to sing in the hallway. Apparently he's new here.
Tori: I sprained my pinky while flying a kite. I guess I just won the wussiest sports injury of all time award.
Tori: Labor Day!!! I don't actually have a job, but it's still good to get a day off!
Tori: The coffee place by the school has pumpkin lattes back in stock!!!!!! Is it weird that I'm so happy about this?!?
Tori: Why do I watch scary movies right before bed? I always have nightmares. I'm a wimp.
Tori: Andre is driving us ALL to Wankos! Cat is sitting by me. She smells GOOD :)
Tori: Time to train Robbie in hamboning. Why do I always get involved?
Tori: What's a polite way to tell Sinjin I don't wanna babysit his tarantula? I'll even settle for a slightly impolite way.
Tori: Hangin' out with… wait, it's NOT a "date" so… why did I tweet this?!?
Tori: I'm in a new play called The Juggler. I play a girl named Jugglin' Judy. The Problem? I can't juggle. I think I'm in over my head.
Tori: Every time Jade makes me mad, I just go to the gym and work off my rage. My muscles are getting huge!
Tori: My favorite new animal: MOOSE! Oh yeah. Ohhhh... yeahhhhh... :)
Tori: Spent the last hour churning my own homemade ice cream. Now it's ready and I'm too tired too eat it. :(
Tori: Every year I try to carve a really scary pumpkin, but it always comes out looking adorable. It's a curse. A cute little curse.
Tori: My hair is all sticky like maple syrup. That's the last time I buy budget Canadian shampoo!
Rex: That IS maple syrup. I switched out your shampoo the last time I was at your house.
Tori: iCarly's last episode is NEXT WEEK! Whaaa? Instead of being all sad about it, we at Hollywood Arts are taking this time to talk about our favorite iCarly webcasts/moments/characters/whatever! That's why this week's trend is: #GoodbyeiCarly
Tori: My sister accidentally locked herself in the bathroom today. Most peaceful Thanksgiving dinner my family's ever had.
Tori: I threw out that freaky Santa decoration last year. So… how's it back in my house? I'm scared. Can I stay with someone 'til January?
Tori: I'm stuck in an elevator inside a two-story building. That's what I get for being lazy and not taking the stairs.
Tori: I have berry ball juice in MY EYES!
Tori: Can someone come over and help me convince Trina that she does NOT need toenail implants?
Tori: I did NOT lose a fight to a 12 year old girl! Well… ok, SO WHAT IF I DID? Be quiet!
Tori: It's Christmas Eve! We don't have any chestnuts or open fires, so Mom and I are popping popcorn in the microwave. Close enough!
Tori: How come people on commercials always get brand-new cars for Christmas, but I never do? Reality should be more like TV.
Tori: Big news! I picked my Brain Squeezers team. It's me, and Andre, and Beck, and Robbie!
Tori: Hey, guys! Become my fan and I'll make an awesome new video for you this Saturday! Come back and check it out!!!
Tori: I'm just happy with the number of followers I have. So grateful. P.S. TELL EVERYONE U KNOW TO FOLLOW ME!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!
Tori: Hi. I'm covered with spit from a large dog. How you doin'?
Tori: I wish Trina would let me know that she has a foot fungus BEFORE she borrows my shoes! Now I think I have to burn them.