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List of posts by Robbie Shapiro

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These are Robbie's posts on his TheSlap profile.

Posts

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  • Robbie: Hey, I'm finally on TheSlap.com! Write on my wall :)
    • Robbie: Thanks everyone for NOT writing on my wall! Really makes a guy feel good about himself.


  • Rex: Ha! No one writes on your board.
    • Jade: Looks like your puppet speaks the truth!
    • Robbie: HE IS NOT A PUPPET!


  • Cat: Hi, Robbie! I was watching this show last Saturday night, this live show thingy, and I saw this guy that looked EXACTLY like you!
  • Robbie: Was his name Andy?
  • Cat: YEEAAAAHH!
  • Robbie: I DO NOT look like him!
  • Beck: Oh yeah, you do look like that guy!
  • Jade: I thought you were going to bed early on Saturday. If you ACTUALLY went to bed early, you wouldn't have seen THAT late-night show! So, what were you doing?
  • Rex: Ha! I'm lovin' this!


  • Robbie: No, I was NOT in a terrible accident. That's a harmonica around my neck. Stop laughing.
Robbie
  • Robbie: Caffeine makes me vibrate.


  • Robbie: There's nothing wrong with my pants! Stop asking.


  • Robbie: Wishing they'd just make a good soy cupcake!


  • Robbie: Allergic to sun?? How is that even possible? Apparently I'm allergic to the sun!



  • Robbie: Awww. Dang it. I got toothpaste in my underwear again! It stings.


  • Robbie: Headed to NY. Going to my cousin's bar mitzvah. It's gonna be OFF THE HOOK.


  • Robbie: Some dude at the gym just called me "Mr Muscles". I think he was being sarcastic.
    • Rex: No, man. I'm sure they were serious. Did they also mention your awesome tan?
    • Robbie: Changed your password, Rex.
    • Rex: Changed it back, Robbie.


  • Robbie: Just found a sunscreen at the specialty drug store that's 187 SPF. Made my day!


  • Robbie: Do you think anyone would notice if I started using self tanning lotion?
    • Rex: No one notices you no matter what you do.


  • Robbie: Oh man, I have a zit and I'm all out of male makeup.


  • Robbie: Are boxer briefs still cool?


  • Robbie: Chillin' in HTown, tomorrow gonna visit peeps in the LBC.
    • Rex: Y'know, talking like that does NOT make you cool.
    • Cat: Where's HTown?


  • Robbie: People can be very inconsiderate ... I'm talking about you REX!!!!!
    • Jade: He's a puppet, not a person.
    • Robbie: That's offensive!!!!


  • Robbie: I'm trying to grow my chest hair out. It's harder than you'd think.
    • Rex: I have more chest hair than you!


  • Robbie: I am itchy because I didn't shower today.


  • Robbie: Rex!!!!!!!! Stop hacking my account!!


  • Robbie: Bought two tickets to the L.A. Soy Festival but Rex doesn't want to go. Anyone wanna come with?


  • Robbie: YEAH! I got the cookie! Take that Rex!
    • Tori: ?????
    • Jade: Ya know Robbie, you don't have to type every thought that comes into your head.


  • Robbie: So, apparently caviar is really, really, REALLY, expensive. Who knew?


  • Robbie: At a hospital. Are you allowed to take the bedpans home?


  • Robbie: Accidentally erased all my contacts so I need everyone's phone number again. Text 'em to me!


  • Robbie: Seriously guys, send me your digits. :)
    • Robbie: C'mon guys. I can't call anybody until I get some numbers!
    • Robbie: Anybody?


  • Robbie: Weird Question: Does anyone know how to do CPR on a parrot?
    • Beck: That is a weird question.
    • Tori: Why do you want to know?
    • Robbie: Ah never mind -- too late. There goes my birdsitting business.


  • Robbie: I'm not letting Rex carve his own pumpkin this year. Not after last year's "incident."


  • Robbie: This is NOT a perm.This is my natural curl. Girls love my hair.
    • Rex: You are delusional.


  • Robbie: Rex keeps prank calling me. It's getting annoying.
    • André: How is that even possible.


  • Robbie: Rex keeps kicking me in his sleep. I'm thinking about making him sleep on the dog bed.


  • Robbie: I ACTUALLY have plans this weekend!!!! Karaoke here I came!


  • Robbie: Rex turned back my clocks as a joke and I missed my date with the really hot girl from my Editing Class. :(


  • Robbie: I accidentally backed into the menorah and almost caught my backpack on fire. Hanukkah is dangerous!


  • Robbie: Monkeys are such curious beings. I wish I was a monkey.


  • Robbie: Sometimes I feel like Rex and I share a brain.
    • Cat: Wait, I'm confused. You don't?!?


  • Robbie: Working out.
    • Rex: Working out what? Math problems?


  • Robbie: I think I'd be a really good football player ... if I wan't allergic to pigskin.
    • Rex: Uh, Robbie. There's a lotta reasons why you can't play football.
    • Robbie: Oh yeah? Name one.
    • Rex: Your 'fro wouldn't fit in the helmet. You're weak and girly. You're afraid of locker rooms.
    • Robbie: I JUST asked for ONE!


  • Robbie: Jade said she loved my "Broken Glass" song. It's the first time she's ever complimented me!
    • Jade: And the last.


  • Robbie: Just rescheduled my dentist appt for February 14th. Not like I'm busy that day or anything.


  • Robbie: I just went to buy an apple and my credit card was rejected! I know I had at least 100 bucks in there!


  • Robbie: The producers said I was TOO "interesting" to be on The Wood.


  • Robbie: Happy Valentine's Day! Don't know why I'm so excited actually. Not like I'm doing anything... Again... Wow, this post got depressing quickly.


  • Robbie: Attention everyone... FREE COOKIES on my profile page!
    • Cat: Robbie, where are the cookies???


  • Robbie: Oh, I just wanted more fans so I thought if I wrote that more people would like me.
    • Beck: And your plan B is?


  • Robbie: I swear my neighbor's cat is evil. It keeps looking threateningly at me. I'm thinking about filing a restraining order.


  • Robbie: I can't believe my left shoe AND my car were stolen in the same week. And why would someone ONLY want ONE shoe! It doesn't make sense!


  • Robbie:I forgot to bring Rex to school today! I haven't been insulted in nearly 3 hours.


  • Robbie: I just got offered the role of the "before" guy on a workout commercial. Should I be offended?


  • Robbie: Movie night at the Vega house was SO FUN! I can't wait to do it again.
    • Tori: BTW Robbie, my dad says never come to our house again.


  • Robbie: Hanging out in Tori's bushes. Absolutely nothing is happening on her date with Ryder. I'm bored.
    • Sinjin: Oh really. Which bush are you in.
    • Robbie: The potted one on the porch.
    • Sinjin: Good choice.


  • Robbie: Aww man. I forgot to shave my toes again today.


  • Robbie: I've been looking for days and I still can't find that "Pee Minder" app. I DESPERATELY NEED IT!


  • Robbie: Note to self: Never go to the park and offer free ice cream to little kids. Their mothers get really angry and punchy.


  • Robbie: Anyone knows a good recipe for a delicious chickpea salad?
    • Rex: Okay that's it. Turn in your man card.


  • Robbie: Rex and I would buy a bunk bed, but we can't agree on who gets the top bunk. It's a dilemma!


  • Robbie: Even Tori's blood is pretty.
    • Tori: Okay, that might be the creepiest thing you've ever said.


  • Robbie: Gonna go ask Cat to the Prom. Wish me luck!
    • Rex: This is going to be ugly.
    • Jade: I agree with the puppet.
    • Tori: It's not Prom! It's PROME!


  • Robbie: Can you believe Rex thinks professional wrestling is legit? Some people just can't figure out what's real or fake.
    • Jade: Says the high school boy with an imaginary friend.
    • Rex: Yeah, you tell him sister! Oh... wait....


  • Robbie: I can bench press almost a FIFTH of my body weight!
    • Beck: How much do you weigh?
    • Robbie: About 140 lbs.
    • Tori: I'm not a mathematician. But I'm not sure I'd be bragging about that....


  • Robbie: Someone stole my bike seat. No, not my bike… my bike seat. Really, hurt to ride to school this morning.


  • Robbie: I bought a sketchbook so that I can impress my dates by drawing a picture of them. I saw that in a movie once
    • Rex: The sketch book is currently empty


  • Robbie: I need more fans on my Slap page. Even Trina has more than I do.
    • Rex: Ha! Ha! Ha! Nobody likes you!
    • Rex: Wait a minute, how do you have more fans than me? That's just wrong!


  • Robbie: Bought a new hat, sunglasses, and pair of jeans today! SCORE!
    • Rex: I'm looking at them right now.They're all women's!
    • Robbie: Stores REALLY need to start marking that on the tags!!!


  • Robbie: Wow. This mustache makes me feel so manly. I just wish I could grow one in real life!
    • Cat: Wow, you really DO look more manly with a mustache. You could probably get a lot more girls if you could grow one for real.
    • Robbie: Thanks Cat.


  • Robbie: I accidentally shaved off half the mustache I was growing. It took so long to grow, I'm debating keeping the other half.


  • Robbie: Playing tic-tac-toe with Rex. Man, he never loses.


  • Robbie: How come guys don't ever have tea parties? Who's up for tea at my place tonight?
    • Cat: I am!!!
    • Robbie: Cat, it's for guys only!
    • Rex: Can someone adopt me? Before tonight?


  • Robbie: I've been wearing my pants inside-out all day long! I hate getting dressed in the dark! (But if I dress with the lights on, Rex makes fun of me.)


  • Robbie: Srry fr typng ths wy. Rx rmvd ll th vwls n my kybrd.
    • Tori: What?
    • Rex: I disabled all the vowels on his keyboard. Classic Rex.


  • Robbie: Rex cut his toenails and left them all over my pillow. What did I ever do to him?
    • Rex: I don't know, why don't you ask the Golden Girls?


  • Robbie: I'm thinking it's not so good that the new principal only knows me as "that spazy kid."


  • Robbie: Anyone want to start a new secret handshake with me? I've got some great ideas.


  • Robbie: Left the room for 5 min and Rex ate my entire pizza! Rex, next time you're going to the bathroom with me!
    • Rex: That would not be my preferred destination
    • Tori: Rex, btw, how do you eat without a digestive system?


  • Robbie: Ugh, I have a wart on the bottom of my foot and it hurts to walk. Anyone wanna carry me to class? I'm lightweight.


  • Robbie: It's not weird that I have a life-size cut-out of Cat. I have life size cut-outs of ALL my pretty girl friends!


  • Robbie: One thing me and Batman have in common: we both have sidekicks. But I bet HIS sidekick doesn't make fun of him all the time. :(


  • Robbie: Last night I got run over by a rude bicyclist while power walking in Santa Monica! Why do I even wear a reflective vest if nobody pays attention?
    • Rex: Nobody pays attention to anything you do. So, I guess what you should be asking is "Why do I do anything?"


  • Robbie: I was thrown out for taking pictures at a funeral. The guy might have died but I really liked his outfit. Is that so bad?


  • Robbie: It's amazing how many compliments I've gotten since I've started wearing a fanny pack! I should have started this years ago
    • Rex: You don't pick up on sarcasm very well, do you?


  • Robbie: I've been mashing these potatoes for like 2 hours now! And they're still lumpy! Why won't you mash you stupid spuds!


  • Robbie: Take-out ketchup packets need to be redesigned! They always squirt in the wrong direction and get all over my clothes.


  • Robbie: How come when Tori couldn't pay her bill at Maestro's, they let her sing it off, but when I can't pay mine, they make me work in the kitchen?


  • Robbie: What's grosser: Stepping on gum barefoot or using the bathroom at a gas station?


  • Robbie: Hanukkah's great cuz I get presents 5 days before the rest of you!
    • Rex: Too bad your parents never buy you anything good for Hanukkah.
    • Robbie: That's beside the point.


  • Robbie: Beck just let me hug him. What a wonderful holiday moment!
    • Beck: I told you not to put that as your status.


  • Robbie: I just read in a magazine that being a nerd is "in." About time!
    • Rex: Unfortunately, I'd say you're less a nerd and more a dweeb.


  • Robbie: Gotta drive to the O.C. to pick up my grandma from the airport! An hour drive just so she could save $20 on her flight!
    • Beck: Don't call it the O.C.
    • Robbie: But it makes me sound cool
    • Beck: No it doesn't.


  • Robbie: I tried to kill a spider in my bedroom and missed. He's probably waiting until I fall asleep to get revenge.
    • Jade: Yeah, that's what I'd be doing if I was the spider.
    • Robbie: Aaaah, you're freaking me out!!!


  • Robbie: I had a taco for the first time and loved it! Tomorrow I'm trying a burrito! It's a spicy new world of flavor!


  • Robbie: Yes, I know my left butt cheek hangs lower than the other one. Can you all please stop pointing it out?
    • Jade: What's up with lefty?


  • Robbie: Opposites attract right? So I just need to find someone completely opposite than me to date!
    • Jade: So what you're saying is… you need to find a girl who is cool, attractive, fun, athletic, and has a great personality.
    • Robbie: Basically, yes.


  • Robbie: Y'know Tori, a GOOD girlfriend would be HAPPY to pop my back pimples.
    • Tori: I am NOT your girlfriend!!!


  • Robbie: I'm going to a thing at a place with Beck!
    • Beck: You know that was just a lie so we wouldn't have to hang out with Hope, right?
    • Robbie: Oh... then i put on my fancy shoes for nothing!


  • Robbie: Going to get my chest waxed! I'll reply later with all the deets!
    • Robbie: Okay, just got back from the waxing place. Guys, DON'T GET YOUR CHEST WAXED! So. Much. Pain.
    • Tori: Why'd you get your chest waxed anyway? You have three chest hairs.
    • Robbie: Cuz I'm sick of plucking them.


  • Robbie: Rex locked me out of my bedroom. Looks like I'm sleeping on the couch again.


  • Robbie: Trina just smashed my guitar to pieces. I wish someone could deliver this bad news to me thru song. :(


  • Robbie: I just threw away a pair of socks I've owned for 9 years. It was a sad moment.
    • Rex: Now, it's time to toss out your decade old underwear.
    • Robbie: Never!


  • Robbie: So… Can anyone guess what I am doing home at 10:30pm on a Friday?
    • Jade: No, and I'd rather not think about it.
    • Robbie: C'mon guess.
    • Jade: Uh, I don't know, something stupid like buffing your toe nails.
    • Robbie: ...whoa, good guess


  • Robbie: I just spent $100 on shoes for Rex. I wish he could wait to buy his clothes on sale.
    • Rex: Rex don't dress cheap.


  • Robbie: I almost got Tori to kiss me! Too bad the stupid Beverly Hills volcano had to ruin the moment!


  • Robbie: I'm so sick... snot is just pouring out. I'm gonna need a bigger box of tissues.


  • Robbie:I replaced all my chairs with exercise balls! Now I can get fit while I sit!


  • Robbie: Sikowitz just told me I need to take acting classes. But isn't that what I'm doing in his class?


  • Robbie: Not sure what smelled worse: uncooked squid or Kwakoo's nasty feet. I know now I never want to be a massage therapist.


  • Robbie: I went to the pond to feed the ducks and a big one bit me on the toosh! I'm never being nice to water fowl ever again!


  • Robbie: Okay. So I learned today not to eat too much of that special-digestion yogurt. If you need me i'll be in the boy's room.


  • Robbie: Just sent in my audition tape!!! Future rock stardom: Here I come!
    • Rex: Nothing will ever not happen as much as you being a rockstar is not going to happen.


  • Robbie: I asked Jade for a ride to school. Not sure why we're currently driving thru the desert. And why she has a shovel in the backseat.
    • Tori: Get out now! Trust me!


  • Robbie: Did you know they make nail polish for boys? This changes everything!


  • Robbie:All you lactose tolerant people happily drinking your milk at breakfast, you don't know how good you have it.


  • Robbie: If there's Christmas in July, there should also be Hanukkah in June. It's only fair!


  • ​Robbie: I have a crush on cute little redhead whose name rhmes with "splat." If only she knew.
    • Cat: Awww, I'll tell Pat


  • Robbie: Help! These mean little girls buried me up to my neck in sand at the beach. I'm having Rex send this message for me! Hurry, the tide is coming in!


  • Robbie: Shaving cream fights are all good and fun until some of the cream gets in your eyes. Not cool shaving buddies.


  • Robbie: Beck's wearing a fedora today and some girl told him he looks like Johnny Depp. So I tried it on and now Rex keeps calling me Johnny Dork.


  • Robbie: I went to go buy some 2 pound weights to work out with and they only sell them in pink. Weird.


  • Robbie: No one wants to go to the movies with me tonight. On the plus side, I get all the popcorn to myself!


  • Robbie: I'm the only person I know who can actually tickle himself. Jealous?


  • Robbie: I hate when Rex uses my PearPad as a place to put his discarded chicken wings.


  • Robbie: Anyone want to buy a pair of pants? They say women's on the tag, but they can totally fit a dude.


  • Robbie: I can't believe walkie-talkies went out of style. They're just like phones except without a screen or number buttons!!!
    • Andre: I think that's exactly why they went out of style.


  • Robbie: Man, if I knew hamboning would make me this popular, I would have started years ago. Hail to the Hambone King!


  • Robbie: I signed up for a meditation class at school. I'm so pumped! I haven't been allowed to nap in school since kindergarten!


  • Robbie: The new Pear Pad 3 has a slightly better screen! How have I lived my whole life without it?


  • Robbie: Seven girls have complimented my eyebrows today. I should pluck more often!


  • Robbie: It's almost time for Tinkle-Aid! Are you wearing your yellow ribbon? #BoysforEqualRestrooms


  • Robbie: Tinkle-Aid was a success! The new boys' bathroom is under construction! I can't wait to sit down and really appreciate it!


  • Robbie: Anybody wanna come over and watch some of my comedy camp home videos? I guarantee you'll at least mildly chuckle once!


  • Robbie: I hate that my mom's car has auto seat warmers. Nothing wakes you up in the morning like ice-cold leather on your toosh.


  • Robbie: Ah man, my mom put JAM on my toast this morning when I specifically requested JELLY! It's gonna be a bad day. :(
    • Beck:Could've been worse. Could've been marmalade
    • Andre: Or fruit preserves. That stuff is nasty.
    • Jade: I can't believe I just read a three-person conversation about various jellies.


  • Robbie: Rex bet me no one would notice I was growing a mustache and HE LOST! Now he has to buy me lunch! Booyah!
    • Rex: Some girl came up to Robbie and tried to brush some loose hair off his upper lip. She didn't know it was attached.
    • Robbie: It still counts!


  • Robbie: I'm not one to kiss and tell… but I just kissed Cat and I've gotta tell everyone!!!!


  • Robbie: Instead of giving me a gift for Hanukkah, Rex said he made a donation in my name to the United Puppet Relief Fund. Uh… thanks


  • Robbie: I can't believe I sold Rex. I'm such a terrible friend. A terrible friend with an extra $2000 in my pocket.


  • Robbie: First Cat, then Jade! My lips are getting a workout lately!


  • Robbie: I really wish I knew what that goo was that they just sprayed me with… or maybe I don't. Blech


  • Robbie: I always keep an extra large flashlight stuffed in my pants… you never know when it'll come in handy.


  • Robbie: I wish Rex would stop clipping his toenails in the bathroom sink. Someone has to clean out the drain you know!
    • Rex: As long as that someone isn't me. I'm okay with it.



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