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List of posts by Rex Powers

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This is the page of Rex Powers's posts on TheSlap.

Posts

  • Rex: Dang it! TheSlap.com just erased my board! I HAD like
    Medium
    10,000 comments from hot ladies! Well, ladies, looks like we're starting over!


  • Rex: I hate that I have to buy my clothes at the small and short store. That's MESSED UP!


  • Rex: Heh. Parasailing over the Pacific with Robbie. He's screaming like a little girl.


  • Rex: Anyone wanna trade a steak sandwich for oatmeal?? REALLY craving oats.


  • Rex: Will someone please take me outta Robbie's bag? Hate Time Outs!


  • Rex: Wanna slow dance?


  • Rex: Gotta find a way to ditch Robbie this weekend! Some of my favorite ladies are in town and Robbie's EMBARRASSING!


  • Rex: Calling all Ladies! Need someone's help to put suntan lotion on hard to reach spots - like my toes! (Hey, I'm a limber.)
Rexpowersss

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  • Rex: I'm gonna learn French for two reasons 1) Ladies find it attractive. 2) Robbie doesn't speak it. He'll finally be outta my bidness.


  • Rex: Robbie has to run the mile in P.E. Thankfully I got out go it because I got flat feet! I can't be trafted either.


  • Rex: Check out my board and tell me if you agree!


  • Rex: Seven Reasons I HATES to Fly 1. Robbie's too cheap to buy me my own ticket, so I gotta get "stowed" in the overhead compartment. And let me tell you these items DO SHIFT during flight! 2. Flights attendant ain't as hot as they used to be. 3. Security won't let me bring my full-sized lotions no more. 4. There's always some screaming baby around. Man, I'm never having kids! 5. Four bathrooms for 200 people. C'mon!?!? 6. My fake knee sets off the metal detectors. 7. Hearing Robbie cry during takeoff and landing is embarrassing.


  • Rex: Is it me or do vegans smell weird?


  • Rex: My ex keeps calling. Shuttin' my phone off for awhile. For all you other ladies, leave a message and I'll call you back later.


  • Rex: Going to a fancy dinner with the chick I met at the gym. Should I wear a suit or tux? Suits are comfortable, but I look like a model when I wear my tux.


  • Rex: I have indigestion. I apologize an advance.
    • Robbie: You're sleeping in the guest room tonight.
    • Rex: 'Bout time you gave me my own room.


  • Rex: Should I buzz my hair short?
    • Robbie: I've already told you no! It won't grow back!
    • Rex: Stop tellin' me what to do!


  • Rex: Just got back from a party over at Sandra's place. Good time.
    • Robbie: How came I didn't get invited? P.S. Who's Sandra?
    • Rex: Why would you be invited to Sandra's party if you don't even know who she is???
    • Robbie: That's beside the point!!!
    • André: This is so weird.


  • Rex: What up, Freshmen ladies! If you need a Hollywood Arts tour guide, I'm your man.
    • Sinjin: Rex, can you tell me where the gymnasium is?
    • Rex: I said "Freshmen ladies". You are neither a Freshman nor a lady.


  • Rex: It's kind of cold out there today. Anyone wanna snuggle up for warmth?


  • Rex: I had to get a physical before I could sign up for sports. The dr. said I'm very limber.


  • Rex: Yeah I'm a snorer. It's cuz I got an oversized uvula.


  • Rex: Yes I'm on the ping pong team. And no, I'm not the mascot.


  • Rex: I didn't have to let a buncha fish nibble on my feet. They're just naturally this smooth.


  • Rex: Robbie used up all the conditioner in the shower. Now my hair is both flat and lifeless.


  • Rex: I'd be a good spy cuz: 1) I ain't got thumbprints 2) I can do a pretty good British accent 3) Hot foreign chicks dig me


  • Rex: Wanna make your own Rex-O-Lantern this Halloween? CLICK HERE to find out how!


  • Rex: I decided to go as a nerd this year for Halloween. Tried out my costume at school today. No one knew I was dressed up :(


  • Rex: Robbie drank too much coffee this morning. Now he's all vibrate-y. Think I'm gonna be nauseous.


  • Rex: Two of the "West Hollywood Wifes" were in my yoga class today. They're very flexible.


  • Rex: Gonna PAR-TAY with a couple of girls from Northridge this weekend.
    • Robbie: Is this gonna be like a double date? Which one do I get?
    • Rex: Northridge don't love you.


  • Rex: Robbie's grandpa won't let me sit at the table for thanksgiving. That's okay. He eats his underwear. I don't need. I don't need to see that.


  • Rex: Been playing tricks on Rob lately. So fun. On Monday, I made him believe it was Sunday. He slept right through his first 3 classes. It was HI-larious.


  • Rex: I'm pretty sure I'm in a dance-off. Yep, it's a dance-off.
    • Jade: How are you in a dance-off when your legs don't even work.
    • Rex: You don't know my skill set!
    • Cat: Once, my brother was in a "stand-off". He lost, but I hope you win.


  • Rex: Time for Robbie to shave the back of my neck—getting outta control back there.


  • Rex: Ya know that mean green guy who hates Christmas? We should set him up with Jade. Sorry, Beck.
    • Beck: Ahh...... they do have a lot in common.
    • Jade: BECK!!!???


  • Rex: I gotta pain in my side. Think my appendix is burstin'
    • Jade: Ya think that might be because Robbie's got his hand up your back?
    • Rex: Don't need to get graphic, girl.


  • Rex: R)bbie slammeed my thum in his l0kker. its really hard to typee right now...


  • Rex: What's up with the episode called "Rex Dies"? Someone want to tell me somethin'?


  • Rex: Out of the hospital. I still haven't forgive you Tori.
    • Tori: For the billionth time: I'm sorry.


  • Rex: I'd believe your apology more if you'd say it while massaging my feet.


  • Rex: I just got my hospital bill. That sponge bath cost $6,000. It was good, but it wasn't THAT good.


  • Rex: Put on a few pounds in the mid-section... time for some crunches.


  • Rex: Just adopted a Red Panda. Thanks, Rob. I put your credit card back in your wallet.


  • Rex: Trina deep-fried my foot. Now I know how chicken nuckets feel.


  • Rex: Valentine's Day decision: go out tonight with a hot girl from Malibu or stay home with Robbie and watch him cry in his pyjamas? Hmmm ....


  • Rex: Man, Valentine's Day cleaned out my wallet. Anyone got $5 for lunch?
    • Jade: Newsflash. You don't eat.
    • Robbie: That's offensive!


  • Rex: Got some BAD indigestion from a gas station hot dog.
    • Robbie: I told you to stop eating those.
    • Rex: I can't. They're too good, Rob. Too good.


  • Rex: I'm upset they don't make urinals in my size. I think I'm going to sue. It's humiliating to have to stand on a stool.


  • Rex: Chilling at the house on a school day. Drinking orange juice in bed and watching soaps on TV. Doesn't get better than this.


  • Rex: Why do guys always have to pay on first dates? You might be cute but I ain't gonna pay your steak AND lobster.


  • Rex: I made out with Tori and I have the pic to show it! Jealous?


  • Rex: Everyone expects you to pull a prank on April 1st. That's why I always wait until July 5th to get pranky. Nobody sees it coming! Ha!


  • Rex: I should have a funky theme song that plays whenever I come into a room.


  • Rex: Hid some raw fish in Robbie's locker. Anyone wanna take bets on how long it takes him to smell it?


  • Rex: Couldn't sleep last night so I watched an entire Full House marathon. Man, that Michelle is so adorable.


  • Rex: Going shopping for a new track suit cause I love the way the pants swoosh when I walk.


  • Rex: Mother's Day is offensive to Puppet-Americans. We don't have moms!


  • Rex: Hey everybody, guess what? There's a car parked in Robbie's butt!! Ha! Ha!
    • Robbie: Stop telling people that!


  • Rex: Need my own vehicle. These bus rides to Northridge are getting expensive.


  • Rex: I HATE double dates. I'm trying to talk to my girl and Robbie's over there blabbing about male make up.
    • Robbie: All I said to my date was, "What a coincidence. I wear blush too!"
    • Rex: Stop talking about it!
    • Tori: Wait, are you guys on the date right now?
    • Rex: Unfortunately.


  • Rex: Huge Party next Saturday night @Kenan Thompson's house! Everyone's invited! Especially if you're a fine-looking lady!
    • Sinjin: Can I come?
    • Rex: Ummmm.....no.


  • Rex: Andre is having a party at Kenan Thompson's house in the Hollywood Hills... all my followers and you NORTHRIDGE GIRLS come on down!


  • Rex: Aced my dental check-up today. I have perfect teeth! I don't even floss.
    • André: Robbie, you are so weird.
    • Rex: Umm, wrong page, dude. Robbie's page is that-a-way.


  • Rex: I don't let Robbie play with fireworks cuz if he ever blew his hand off I'd be in a lotta chiz.


  • Rex: Awww man, they canceled my favorite show, "The Real Girls of Northridge."
    • Andre: Dude, you're obsessed.


  • Rex: Is it wrong to pretend it's you're birthday to get a free sundae at Olive Grove??
    • Robbie: Yes!
    • Trina: No! Get two spoons.


  • Rex: I'm in "Time Out" in Robbie's locker again. Apparently he doesn't like it when I blow my nose in his spaghetti.


  • Rex: So far today I've beat Robbie in ping pong, tic-tac-toe, that surgery video game, and picking up chicks! Winning! Boom!


  • Rex: Sometimes I feel bad that no one looks as good in plaid as I do. They just can't rock it like Rex!


  • Rex: If I could sum up Robbie's future in three words it would have to be: Table for One.


  • Rex: Dude in front of me told me to shut my phone off at the movies. I told him to shut his face. He dumped his soda on Robbie's head. Oops.
    • Robbie: That's it. I'm taking away your texting privileges.


  • Rex: Going to Newport Beach to do some sea kayaking. Wow kayaking is a really weird word to type.


  • Rex: Should I tell my online date that I'm a puppet before we meet? You'd think in 2011 chicks would be able to handle it, but you never know


  • Rex: Robbie should thank me for saving his horrible audition. He's been telling that baby back ribs joke since 3rd grade. It's NEVER been funny.
    • Robbie: I'll have you know that meat related humor is ALWAYS funny!


  • Rex: And that's why you NEVER disrespect a puppet! Hehehehehe!
    • Tori: What are you talking about?
    • Rex: Oh nothing. Just thinking out loud.


  • Rex: I'm really limber. It's one of the benefits of not having a spine.


  • Rex: So I lost my phone, if anyone finds it, please return it? Oh and I wouldn't look at the pictures if I were you.


  • Rex: Tori's backpack smells so good. Robbie's smells like mayonnaise and nerd. Blech.


  • Rex: Thank you Tori for beating Robbie's Tech Theater record. It's always fun watching Robbie cry.


  • Rex: Going up to Santa Barbara for the weekend. Taking the train cuz Robbie still refuses to drive on the freeway.
    • Robbie: The freeway scares me. The truck drivers always point at me and laugh.


  • Rex: Turns out there WAS a Ladies of Northridge float at the Parade Parade. And it was awesome! You people should listen to me more often!


  • Rex: I'm the Hollywood Arts staring contest champion! C'mon who wants to try me!
    • Beck: Sure, it's easy to win if you don't need to blink.


  • Rex: It's 3 A.M., Robbie's asleep. Time to use his credit card for some ridiculous online purchases. Box of giant rubber bands... click.


  • Rex: I've got a pinched nerve! Probably because Robbie throws me in his backpack whenever a cute girl comes by. Never works for him tho.


  • Rex: Went to go see Sinjin's band play at the Moxie last night. It's the first time I've ever seen a group booed off stage BEFORE they started playing.


  • Rex: It's dinner time and I'm currently locked in Robbie's room cuz last year I insulted his Aunt Shirley. You would too if you saw her wig.


  • Rex: Eating Robbie's Maestro's leftovers for lunch. Mmmm. Lobster mashed potatoes. Beats a PB&J any day!
    • Robbie: I specifically wrote "For Robbie. Do Not Eat!" on the take-out box!
    • Rex: I specifically ignored your directions

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  • Rex: It's a shame I'll never be a champion figure skater because of my bad back. Life is so unfair.


  • Rex: Hanukkah's cool with me. Any holiday that encourages eating all the donuts you want gets an A in my book.


  • Rex: I don't know about you guys, but that Christopher Cane fellow seems like quite the charmer. And so handsome.
    • Tori: Seems kind of full of himself to me.
    • Rex: Seems like a guy who should be full of himself!!


  • Rex: Wow. Today I've already seen a car chase, helicopter fly-over, and a guy taking a nap in the middle of Sunset Blvd. Good to be back in LA.


  • Rex: Man, my golf game has gone down hill. Haven't putted this badly since Reagan was in office.
    • Andre: Umm, how old are you exactly?
    • Rex: Mid teens. Why?


  • Rex: Accidentally deleted a bunch of pics off my cell phone. Well… there goes my blackmail material.


  • Rex: I'm thinking about starting a CPR class. Any ladies interested in signing up?


  • Rex: Robbie just dropped me on the men's bathroom floor. I don't think I'll ever feel clean again. Mood: Funky.


  • Rex: Hollywood Arts won't let me take a school picture by myself. Looks like Robbie's gonna ruin my yearbook photo again this year!I hate when the paparazzi takes my pic and my hair's looking all wonky!


  • Rex: No, I will not dress up like a leprechaun for your St. Patrick's day party. I have SOME respect, people!
    • Andre: How about for $20?
    • Rex: What time do you want me to show up?


  • Rex: I hate when the paparazzi takes my pic and my hair's looking all wonky!You know your trip to the all-you-can-eat buffet was successful when you can no longer button the top button of your jeans.
    • Tori: Why on Earth would you have paparazzi?
    • Rex: Cuz my face sells magazines, that's why!


  • Rex: I've gotten 4 stains on my clothes TODAY and I didn't eat anything yet! Robbie's really gotta wash his hands more.


  • Rex: Robbie's mom just threw me in the washing machine again. Feeling queezy.


  • Rex: You know your trip to the all-you-can-eat buffet was successful when you can no longer button the top button of your jeans.


  • Rex: Can someone please buy Robbie a fancier man-bag? If I'm gonna be stuffed in there, I at least want to travel in style.


  • Rex: Robbie's always throwing me in his locker and now my back's out of alignment. Gonna start sending him my chiropractor bill.


  • Rex:Hanging out in the Hollywood Arts's Lost and Found room. Robbie's gotta learn how to hold on to his stuff. This is humiliating.


  • Rex: You know what's exhausting? Realizing i can't retire for another 47 years. What am i going to do until then? Work?


  • Rex: Robbie sings show tunes in his sleep. Just one more thing on the list of "Stuff Robbie Does That Freaks Me Out."


  • Rex: Is it just me, or is Tori a lot hotter now that she's crazy?
    • Sinjin: It's not just you.


  • Rex: Robbie left me upside down in his bag and all the blood rushed to my head. Feeling really woozy right about now.


  • Rex: I haven't been to the gym since I dumped my personal trainer girlfriend. I feel so lazy. I should go do some push-ups or something.


  • Rex: Sorry if my hair isn't as luxurious as it usually is. Robbie hasn't bought me my special conditioner for weeks.


  • Rex: Puppet Perk #1: I never have to shave in the morning. I'm just naturally this smooth.


  • Rex: I was totally pumped to make the Dean's List. Then I found out it was just an award for getting good grades. Thought it was some cool club. Oh well.


  • Rex: Slammed my hand in the car door. Looks like I'm going to need to get a new one. Hand, that is. Perks of being a puppet.


  • Rex: Kobe beef is the best food on the planet. I'll fight anyone that says otherwise.


  • Rex: I keep I few bucks in my sock in case I loose my wallet. Sorry in advance to whoever gets my foot-sweat money.


  • Rex: Ha, I just out-bowled Robbie. And the bowling ball weighs more than I do!


  • Rex: I've got a 10 page paper due tomorrow so nobody call me tonight. I'm Busy!!! ….unless you're a hot lady. Then I'll make an exception.


  • Rex: Gonna have some friends over and watch a killer-puppet movie. It really freaks them out. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!


  • Rex: I'm so glad it's cool out. I hate when Robbie's hand is all sweaty.


  • Rex: Grocery Store Tip: Never awkwardly hit on a lady in the dairy aisle unless you want a face full of eggs. Robbie found out the hard way.


  • Rex: Just got back from the gym. I can finally bench press my weight! 10 pounds, baby!


  • Rex: Robbie's singing "Make it Shine" in the shower again. Badly. Can't a puppet brush his teeth in silence around here?


  • Rex: How am I supposed to take a self-portrait?!? I can't even work my arms by myself! Stupid photography class assignment.


  • Rex: Ugh, that little wazzbag put his greasy, Bibble-y hands all over me. I feel so dirty.


  • Rex: I hate, hate, HATE getting dry cleaned. I'm sure you all can relate.
    • Andre: Uh, no.
    • Beck: Can't say that I know the feeling.


  • Rex: It's late December and I'm eating frozen yogurt. Gotta love LA!


  • Rex: Robbie won't drive me to Northridge College to watch my girl Tori perform! I just want to support my friend! Is that so wrong?!?
    • Robbie: You just want to go to meet Northridge girls!
    • Rex: That's just a bonus!


  • Rex: How come I never get cast in any Hollywood Arts plays? They're overlooking pure leading man material here!


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