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List of posts by Jade West

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This is the page of Jade West's TheSlap posts.

Posts

  • Jade: Isn't it awesome that my boyfriend joined TheSlap and never told me? Awesome.
    • Cat: No way!!! What a jerk! No offense, Beck, I think you're awesome.
    • Beck: Thanks, Cat. Jade, I joined two hours ago.
    • Jade: Yeah, exactly. TWO HOURS!!!


  • Jade: I hate lullabyes. Why would you sing to a baby while they're trying to sleep? Oh yeah, I hate babies.
    • Cat: Do you hate my profile page? Cuz there's baby heads all over it.


  • Jade: I hate October.


  • Jade: My dreams are exhausting. I wake up needing a nap.


  • Jade: Mustard is disgusting. Also, if you wear pink, I really don't like you.
    • Cat: I wear pink and I eat mustard. Do you hate me? Please say no.
    • Jade: You have no idea the hatred I feel for most people.
    • Cat: Phew. At least I'm not most people. I'm Cat.


  • Jade: Do you think an orange is named after the color or the fruit? If you even thought about that for 2 seconds, you're stupider than I thought.


  • Jade: Merry Christmas, losers.
    • André: And a merry Christmas to you, my lady.


  • Jade: Happy Valentine's Day (to Beck only).
    • Beck: Thank you, babe. Movies tonight?
    • Jade: You know how I love the dark! See ya there.
      Jadeswest

      Current Avatar.


  • Jade: What I'm doing right now is none of your business.


  • Jade: Met a new girl this week. I won't say who she is. I'll only say that she sung Make It Shine in the Big Showcase. And her name is Tori Vega.


  • Jade: Sometimes I think that I'm having fun and then I realize I'm not.


  • Jade: Got a haircut today. Didn't even hurt. Such a waste of time.


  • Jade: Dogs are cute on TV, but in reality they're just balls of fur that drool on you.


  • Jade: I got hit in the eye by TORI.


  • Jade: I liked volcanic ash before, but now that my teacher is stuck in London for an indefinite amount of time, I like it even more!
    • Robbie: Wanna hear my song about volcanic ash?
    • Jade: No.


  • Jade: You know what matches black? Black. Why waste time with all those other colors?


  • Jade: Oh great. Spring is here. All the things I hate: Sun, allergies, and girls who go to the beach in tiny bikinis.
    • Cat: Yay, let's go to the beach! BTW, I got a new bikini! It's yellow and has pink polka dots on it!


  • Jade: Beck and I are NOT breaking up- No matter what you hear!
    • Beck: Well-
    • Brisa:I think he wants to
    • Jade: Shut it.


  • Jade: Comment on stuff you hate! I'm working on a What I Hate video!


  • Jade: Sweating is for morons.


  • Jade: I love it when it rains and people get scared and pull over on a freeway. It's not like a meteor shower, people!


  • Jade: You know what I hate? When people stick the same knife they used for the jelly in the peanut butter jar. What if I just want peanut butter. Gross!


  • Jade: Bad thing about summer is how long it stays light out. Every day seems like an eternity.


  • Jade: Dear girl sitting next to me at the movies, your hair is an obnoxious color. Dye it anything but that.
    • Cat: Do you mean me? Sent from Cat's mobile phone.
    • Jade: Get off the phone and watch the movie!


  • Jade: Yep, it's that time of the month again. Time for a new What I Hate video. Enjoy it. Or don't.


  • Jade: My mom says "If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all." My mom's stupid.


  • Jade: Pink stinks.
    • Tori: The color?
    • Jade: Yep. Just needed to be said.


  • Jade: The next person I hear using the phrase "Staycation" is getting a black eye.


  • Jade: Has anyone seen Sikowitz?
    • Sikowitz: I'm on TheSlap.
    • Jade: Yeah....but you're not in class.
    • Sikowitz: Nor will I be until my demands are met.
    • Jade: You sound like a crazy person.
    • Brisa:You know jade i just wish u where nicer
    • Jade:Ok i will but only you
  • Jade: People shouldn't talk in the bathroom. I hate people yapping while I'm taking a waz!


  • Jade: Thursdays have no redeeming qualities.


  • Jade: This is a crisis. My day's completely ruined. just found out that "killing me softly" is a really sweet song.


  • Jade: In the janitor's office... destroying stuff...


  • Jade: I HATE Valentine's Day BUT I do think it would be fun to be cupid. Flying around shooting people with arrows and what not.


  • Jade: The flowers Beck bought me for Valentine's Day are ALMOST dead. Woo hoo!
    • André: You are one twisted sister.


  • Jade: The only good thing about costume design class is all the many different types of scissors we get to play with. Fun.


  • Jade: I'd like to fast forward through high school and get to the goood stuff!


  • Jade: The best part about being in a movie is being able to slap people and call it "acting".
    • Cat: Your acting made my face hurt. :(


  • Jade: I hate rainbows. After it rains, L.A.'s all nice and gloomy and they come along and ruin it.


  • Jade: Which do you think is worse? Being caught lip synching or falling off the stage? I can't decide. I find both hilarious.


  • Jade: I got a new look going on. Don't compliment me on it. I don't need your compliments.
    • Tori: It looks… nice? Is that a okay word to use?


  • Jade: Dear lemonade, I like you most when you're bitter... and in a can.


  • Jade: Now that I've accomplished my dream of pushing Tori off a 3 story building, I don't know what to do with my life.


  • Jade: I'm so sick of ice cream right now. Just hearing the word "ice cream" makes me want to puke.
    • Rex: Ice Cream
    • Tori: Ice Cream
    • André: Ice Cream
    • Jade: I HATE you all!


  • Jade: Alright, who gave Sinjin my phone number? Fess up
    • Sinjin: It was Robbie.
    • Robbie: Dude!
    • Jade: Wait... who gave Robbie my phone number?


  • Jade: Why does our school even have 1st-floor windows if you're not allowed to push people out of them?


  • Jade: Wouldn't it be horrible if Tori was too injured and/or missing to be in the play tonight??!?
    • Sikowitz: Jade, I've already told you not to passive-aggressively threaten the leading lady.


  • Jade: Saturday night. Kind of bored. Think I'll go destroy Tori's "Prome" (which is a totally stupid name by the way).


  • Jade: I'm planning on having a Hawaiian wedding. That way, if anyone objects, I can throw them in the nearest volcano.


  • Jade: I hate when people say "I'll pencil you in". Um, no one uses pencils anymore.


  • Jade: What's black and white and red all over? Me. I have a black & white dress on OVER my completely sunburned skin! #ReasonToStayInside
    • Beck: I told you to wear sunscreen.
    • Jade: You should know that I never do anything anyone tells me to do.


  • Jade: I'm judging a 7th grade art show tonight. Gonna make some middle schoolers cry! Sounds like my kinda night!


  • Jade: Another day of sunshine?!?! Are you kidding me LA?!?!


  • Jade: Today is my birthday. I know I said I hate birthdays… but I just meant everyone else's. Not mine. Mine's cool.
    • Tori: Happy Birthday!
    • Jade: Don't patronize me.
    • Tori: Sorry, sheesh!


  • Jade: I took home my dissected frog from science class. I named him "Gutsy"
    • Cat: I would have named him Hopper!
    • Jade: Uh, maybe six months ago that name would have been better, Cat.


  • Jade: If you have more than 2 bumper stickers on your car...I hate you!
    • Festus: Say one bad thing about my Grub Truck and I ban you for life.
    • Jade: Yeah, well I'll get my ravioli from some other truck.


  • Jade: My family is planning a trip to Florida. Hurricanes, giant spiders, and old people. I can barely contain my excitement.


  • Jade: I just thought of something I DON'T hate: Seeing girls with 6" high heels trip and fall over at the mall. Just so satisfying.


  • Jade: Beck's taking me on a date to a movie in a cemetery. Looks like he's finally figured out what makes girls happy. About time.


  • Jade: Y'know, being a door to door knife salesman would be a perfect cover for a serial killer.
    • Andre: You terrify me sometimes.


  • Jade: Yeah, I'd be REEEEEEALLY broken up if Tori was kicked out of Hollywood Arts. And it would be TERRIBLE to win the lottery too, wouldn't it?
    • Beck: I thought we talked about this? You said you'd stop being mean to Tori on TheSlap.
    • Jade: I say a lot of nice things about Tori on TheSlap but somehow they never post to my profile. #weird.


  • Jade: If I had a pool, I'd buy a pet shark and some leeches. Then I'd have a pool party!
    • Cat: Yeah! Pool party!


  • Jade: I gotta say Tori, that was one of the best plays I've ever seen! Congratulations!
    • Tori: You only liked it because my sister got hurt, the set was destroyed, and the play was ruined!
    • Jade: True. But I don't give compliments often so you should take what you can get.


  • Jade: Someone asked me to "babysit" their poodle. They didn't appreciate that I shaved it. Not sure what they expected would happen.


  • Jade: The bad news: I think I have the whooping cough. The good news: My voice sounds really sultry now.


  • Jade: Been text-fighting Beck all day. My fingers are starting to hurt. Time to start yelling at him in person.


  • Jade: What do you think would be worse? Being stuck on a desert island with Tori or having to talk to Sinjin for more than 5 minutes?
    • Tori: C'mon, I'm not that bad.
    • Sinjin: I can't believe Jade just talked about me in a status update!


  • Jade: Sinjin sat his stupid butt on my fave scissors and now he's in the hospital getting stitches. What's he crying about? My scissors are RUINED!


  • Jade: I just bought a package of the hottest peppers that can legally be sold in the US. Whose sandwich should I hide one in first?


  • Jade: One more thing I hate about Halloween: I never know if I'm walking thru a real spiderweb or a fake one. Ugh.


  • Jade: I hate when I order miso soup and the waiter asks if I want soup with that. Why would I want soup with my soup!?!


  • Jade: I was going to help this little old lady with her bags at the grocery store, but then I remembered that I don't help people.


  • Jade: Dear Hollywood Arts, I'll actually play a school sport when you get a Roller Derby team. I like any sport where you're allowed to elbow someone in the face.
    • Lane: Wait, aren't you already on the school Ping Pong team?
    • Jade: Oh. Right… That's totally a real thing.


  • Jade: I hate that Black Friday is just a day where everyone goes shopping at the mall. What a waste of a cool holiday name.


  • Jade: Loud talkers should be taken into a tiny room and shouted at for hours until they get how annoying it is.


  • Jade: Ugh… I'm Tori's Secret Santa. What did I ever do to Christmas that it hates me so much?!?


  • Jade: I like to think of vending machines as big glass piñatas. Which is why I'm not allowed to take a bat to school anymore.


  • Jade:Any day you get to use a bone saw is a good day.


  • Jade: I really like Ebenezer Scrooge. He seems like my kind of dude. Well, that is until the end when he gets all happy and annoying.


  • Jade: Why is everyone so pumped for 2012? Isn't the world supposed to end this year? Actually that sounds pretty exciting.


  • Jade: First day back at school and we get leftovers at the Grub Truck! Ummm, is this leftovers from two weeks ago????
    • Festus: Some food is better when left to ripen.
    • Tori: Not meatloaf!


  • Jade: Beck wants to take me to a musical, but I'm not sure I'll be able to hear it over the sound of my own gagging.


  • Jade: I hate people whose names rhyme. That's right… I'm talking to you Sherman Berman.
    • Andre: Hey don't mess with Sherman. He's good people.
    • Cat: Yeah, plus his name's really fun to say. Sherman Berman. Sherman Berman.


  • Jade: I HATE the fact that I got detention this Saturday but I LOVE the fact that Tori got it too. I'm so conflicted.


  • Jade: Seriously, is everyone at this school vegan? Makes me wanna eat a medium-rare extra-bloody prime rib out of spite.


  • Jade: I hate baby food! What, is chewing too hard for you babies? Well, why don't you stop crying and grow some teeth already!
    • Sikowitz: Geez, who sprinkled bitterness in your coffee this morning?


  • Jade: Hey Robbie and Andre, if you can see this status update.... IT'S HAMMAR TIME!!!
    • Andre: Awww, man.
    • Robbie: Nooooo, I'm on the toilet!
    • Jade: Do it anyway!


  • Jade: Grammar lesson! It's not "Look, it's a pic of Beck and I" it's "Look, its 'a' pic of Beck and Me"! Get it right, people!


  • Jade: Yeah, yeah. Beck and I broke up. Can we talk about something else now… like how annoying Tori is?
    • Tori: Look I know you're hurt, but don't drag me into this.
    • Jade: I'm giving you 10 seconds to delete your comment.
    • Tori: I don't know how. :(


  • Jade: I refuse to bless people after they sneeze. What, just cuz your nose had a spasm you think people should care?


  • Jade: I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT! HOPE THIS DOESN'T MAKE BECK JEALOUS!
    • Cat: But I thought you were coming over tonight to help me watch my mom's boss's dog.
    • Jade: SHUT UP!


  • Jade: I hate when I think of something that I hate, but forget what it is when it's time to write it down.


  • Jade: On a forced play date with Tori. Yes, it's as horrible as it sounds. I officially hate Sikowitz.


  • Jade: I hate D.J.s. Oh wow, you can place a record on a record player. Congratulations!


  • Jade: Heads up people: Tomorrow, on St. Patrick's Day, I will NOT be wearing green. And if anyone tries to pinch me… I will do bad things to them.


  • Jade: I can't believe I was so nice to Tori today. April Fools' Day does weird things to a person.


  • Jade: Hey Easter Bunny, do you care that 25 million Americans have diabetes? No, don't worry, just keep handing out sugar-coated chocolate eggs.


  • Jade: I don't like driving during the day… but I'll make an exception to drive Tori somewhere "special."
    • Tori: You're really freaking me out right now.


  • Jade: Had to wear a pink dress today for a role. I quit the play. I think everyone won.


  • Jade: Dear people of the internet: putting a vintage filter on your photos doesn't make your lame trip to the supermarket suddenly cooler.


  • Jade: Going to go explore a creepy abandoned mall this weekend. Anyone wanna come?
    • Tori: Sounds fun! Is it legal?
    • Jade: Uh.........yeah?


  • Jade: If you just emailed me something, you don't need to then IM and text me to tell me that you emailed me. I'll get it.

  • Jade: So yeah, I let Tori perform on the Platinum Music Awards instead of me. Whatever. The stupid costume they made is itchy anyways.


  • Jade: At the pharmacy. Across the counter there's a prescription marked "T. Vega". I'm dying to see what it is.
    • Tori: What? Don't look in it!
    • Jade: Too late. Just did. It's foot fungus cream


  • Jade: I don't know why everyone loves that video of the piano-playing dog. He can't even keep a decent tempo. Amateur.
    • Andre: You know, for once I agree with you.


  • Jade: Just wanna write down some things I hate: rainbows, award shows, the fact that the status can't fit all the stuff I hate.


  • Jade: I have no eyebrows and I'm really mad about it... even if my brows can't properly show emotion right now.


  • Jade: Im so gonna get you Cat


  • Jade: I absolutely love when celebrities try to make a joke on award shows and they just bomb. Live awkwardness is the best!


  • Jade: I'm so sad hockey season is over. I saw two dudes fighting on the street today, but they weren't on skates. It just wasn't the same.


  • Jade: Papparazzi is everywhere at the Grove today. Barely any room to walk. Thank you Kourtney for showing up and ruining my Friday.


  • Jade: Starring in a movie where my character is "clueless." I've been studying Cat for years so I think I can pull it off.
    • Cat: Glad I could help!


  • Jade: A TV star just moved into the house next door. But it's just a basic cable TV star so I'm not that excited.


  • Jade: For some reason I let Robbie borrow my phone and now it's all janked up. Man, Robbie ruins everything he touches.


  • Jade: I just can't take any monster seriously that lives in a lagoon. Sorry Creature from the Black Lagoon. Maybe if you switched locations.


  • Jade: I hate when you go to a new restaurant and you match the waitresses' uniform -- 3 people asked me for a menu on my way to the bathroom!


  • Jade: In the TV show I'm writing, I play the main character and her evil twin.
    • Rex: Well you won't have to act much to play the evil twin.


  • Jade: You know, some people love to go to the beach and sit for hours waiting for the sunrise. I hate those people.


  • Jade: Even as a child, I only ever used the black crayon.


  • Jade: I'm really sick but showed up to school anyway. I'm trying to see if I can aim my sneezes at people.


  • Jade: Although I reallllllllyyyyyy don't want to babysit anyone's kids, I'm kind of offended that no one ever asks me to do it.


  • Jade: Ugh! Hanging out with the Vega sisters all night is literally the worst thing I can think of. Well that and being squashed by a meteor.


  • Jade: This is kind of a strange question, but does anyone have a pair of bolt cutters I could borrow?
    • Tori: I do. But will I regret letting you borrow them?
    • Jade: ....... probably.


  • Jade: I'm currently outside in a back alley watching two nerds slap themselves. Has my life really come to this?


  • Jade: I hate wire hangers. Seriously mom, you couldn't spend the extra 5 cents for the plastic ones? Ugh. I have hanger anger.


  • Jade: There are three sushi places within walking distance. But I hate walking. So I ate a nasty sushi roll from The Grub Truck. I'm lazy sometimes.


  • Jade: The guy at the coffee place put raisins in my oatmeal!!!! I HATE RAISINS! No one talk to me for the rest of the day!


  • Jade: Tori is soooo pathetic trying to impress Moose. Can anyone come over and help me fit into this wedding dress?


  • Jade: I don't love much, but I love my Zombie Smasher game. If you haven't played it yet, don't talk to me until you have.


  • Jade: It really annoys me that everyone's going to look like me on Halloween. I think I'll wear pink to stand out.


  • Jade: I love the fall. I can go outside at 5 pm and not have to deal with it being all bright and cheery out. Take that, sun!


  • Jade: 1) Beck and I are back together again. 2) All girls must stay at least 30 feet away from him at all times. 3) I'm not kidding.


  • Jade: Why are sweater sleeves never the right size? It's like they only design winter gear for short-armed weirdos.
    • Robbie: As a short-armed American, I find your comment offensive.
    • Jade: Eh, why don't you just go and scratch the middle of your back. Oh that's right, you can't!
    • Robbie: :(


  • Jade: Santa knows if you've been naughty or nice, right? Then how do I keep getting presents? Cuz I haven't been "nice" in a long time.


  • Jade: I'm watching a movie about a green guy who steals Christmas presents, and it's giving me a lot of good ideas.


  • Jade: As a fan of the number 13, I think this will be a spectacular year for me.


  • Jade: Why is everyone laughing at me today? Did I turn into Burf overnight or something?
    • Rex: I don't NOSE. Why would they be laughing at you???
    • Tori: Check out Pear Maps. I think you'll have a bone to PICK with it.
    • Beck: Guys don't be mean. It's SNOT what it looks like.


  • Jade: You know what I could buy with $10,000? A new tooth! Which I now need because of that stupid game show. Thanks Tori.


  • Jade: Great, I'm the star of the worst short film of all time. I mean, I was great but everything else was terrible! (Especially Robbie.)


  • Jade: My favorite part about Tori getting dragged by a dog while attempting to sing the National Anthem was all of it.


  • Jade: What's so hard to understand about a bunless, meatless, dairyless cheeseburger??? Get it together Inside-Out Burger!
    • Tori: Ummm, what's left? Did you just want them to serve you air?

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